PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
A Study in Thought
sa022
by
Marius Heuff
Chapter 1
Content
The three forms of pride; roots, personal achievements and judgements.
Mechanisms of prejudice.
Relationships between pride and prejudice, and the social acceptability of a judgement.
How ambiguous is our evaluation of pride! It is usually considered to be
a highly esteemed and indispensible characteristic for the well-integrated
members of society, because it is a necessary stimulus to achievement and
fortitude, but, it may also become a source of endless friction, strife and
misery. What is pride, and, how does prejudice relate to pride?
Pride is a form of self-esteem; a sense of value of our "self", and, we can
argue, convincingly, that, without a sense of value for one's own existence,
or "ego", no human being could function normally. A man without some form
of pride in the value of his own being, becomes an unpredictable opportunist,
who is quickly scorned by all who come into contact with him, and, his behaviour
is similar to that of a psychopath who has no conscience.
Of course, we are not saying, that the definition of a psychopathic personality
is, simply, a lack of the development of self-esteem, but, we will see, that
the function of conscience, the ability to distinguish between right and
wrong, as well as the ability to be concerned with the well-being of someone
else, is only possible, if we value our life and our well-being, and, if
we are, in essence, happy to be alive and to be the person we have
become.
Let us accept, for the time being, that pride is, indeed, a value-judgement
adhered to by the members of a social environment, in spite of the fact,
that the intellectual justification or conceptual precision of this judgement
or value-system is often vague or absent. In our pride, we believe, very
strongly, in a certain set of guidelines, a certain code of behaviour, or,
a certain set of values, without knowing, precisely, why we value these
guidelines so highly, or, why we become angry and defensive, if these guidelines
and values are questioned or challenged.
What are we proud of? There are three broad categories where we draw our
sense of pride from. The most fundamental motivation to be proud, is a fondness
or a love for the culture and society we come from. This is only possible,
if we have been able to identify, closely, with the cultural environment
into which we were born and grew-up. We will then always feel an affection
for this particular culture and social environment. We have the feeling that
we belong to a specific cultural environment, because we realise, that we
have been nourished by its contents, and, we experience a feeling of being
rooted in this particular culture. If we are isolated from our roots, we
may become nostalgic and insecure, and, we tend to emphasise our origins
with an emotion of pride and firmness.
This type of pride; the sense of belonging, or the awareness of our roots,
is interwoven with the sense of achievement, which we may or may not experience,
whenever we review our life and look back upon our ambitions and dreams.
We all vary in the way we judge to have been successful, and, we have analysed,
before, the complexity and contradictoriness of our goal-patterns. Let us
say, here, only, that we all have ambiguous feelings and attitudes towards
the accomplishments of our lives, and, virtually no-one will think of him-
or herself as a total failure, or, as a complete success.
We all have some sense of achievement, even, if we have revised, frequently,
our goals and wind-up, eventually, taking stock of what we have achieved
without feeling particularly good or successful about it. Yet, we can say,
that we became, eventually, somebody. We developed a few potentials, and,
we explored a few possibilities, but, the potentials we did not or could
not develop, have now slipped out of reach. We are what we will be for the
rest of our lives, and, even rather dramatic changes in our ways of living
will not significantly alter our personality, ideas, skills or attitudes.
We have become, and, we are full-grown.
Then, there is this third category upon which we base a sense of self-esteem,
but, it may well be, that we have to consider this area as a subconscious
form of compensation or adaptation in our behaviour-patterns, whenever we
realise, mostly intuitively, that a foundation of pride in our origins and
achievements leaves us with a rather meagre harvest, indeed. I am thinking,
here, about our judgement systems; the way we judge society and others around
us, or, groups of people we do not consider to be part of our social environment.
These judgements and attitudes are, primarily, subconscious. They are designed
to boost our self-esteem, and, because they are unable to stand-up to close
and honest scrutiny, they become quickly rigid and unquestioned
opinions.
If these attitudes are clearly elitist and discriminatory in nature, we are
dealing with outright prejudice, but, we have to realise, that this is,
invariably, an outsider's judgement. We tend to form, quickly, broad criticisms
about groups of people we know little about, and, we come easily, and without
much thought, to the conclusion, that these people are inferior to us, and,
that they are a source of chaos and trouble. A scapegoat is such a common
crutch for our self-esteem, because we avoid, then, the need to accept
responsibility ourselves for the problems we are experiencing.
Here, we see, clearly, the major role for an attitude of prejudice. A prejudice
is an attitude of being superior, where we judge and condemn specific people
or groups of people, and, in doing we, we do not have to look any further
for the causes of the trouble we, and our society, are in. When we examine
prejudicial opinions more closely, we see, that we often judge harshly those
trends in others, which we find difficult to master or conquer within ourselves.
By projecting our harsh condemnation upon others, (who are failing in a way
which we recognise, subconsciously, as "familiar"), we help to suppres our
own tendency to give-in to the same temptations. A harsh judgement helps
us to control ourselves, and, we try to stay within the confines of the social
and moral guidelines of our conscience by harshly condemning any infringements
upon these boundaries by others.
Is this still pride, or, are we talking about a different concept? True, we are describing, here, a mechanism that plays an important role in shaping our attitudes of self-esteem, and, we are describing emotional judgements which we may recognise, more clearly, as prejudices in others, whenever we acknowledge such judgements to be less than desirable. When we sense strong emotional overtones and existential anxieties playing a role in the formation of these divisive judgements, we are able to see them as a prejudice, but, if such judgements are not clearly condemned by a variety of social and cultural guidelines, then, we have no criteria with which to make a judgement of prejudice, and, we may call these attitudes, "patriotic".
In other words, attitudes of prejudice are possible towards groups or individuals
within our social horizons, because, at least, part of our cultural heritage
condemns these judgements and attitudes, and labels them as a prejudice,
but, we are not able to label a collective hostility of our own social
environment towards another social grouping or nation as a prejudice, unless
we have been fortunate enough to absorb a broad cultural spectrum that lets
us see the narrow sphere of concern of our own particular cultural
locale.
.......
Chapter 2
Content
An analysis of the attitudes of pride and prejudice.
Pride and sacred belief structures.
Reasons for the vagueness of many ideas and concepts.
The need for intellectual precision.
Pride, prejudice and social mechanisms in the establishment of the hierarchical structure.
Differences between success and achievement.
The role of confidence.
The pride of roots and origins; relationships with strangers.
The weapon of pride and the search for triumph.
Quiet confidence and personal achievement; trust.
What happens, when our behaviour is coloured by an attitude of pride, and,
in examining this question, we will see, that the attitude of pride is, partly,
a defensive attitude against doubts about our own abilities, but, the
strengthening of our confidence with the attitude of pride introduces, at
the same time, the vulnerability that comes with an attitude of rigidity.
We have seen before, that every weapon or tool has its price, and, the price
of rigidity is shared by two defensive attitudes that appear to have little
in common; pride and a reverent humility.
In pride, as well as the attitude of reverent awe, certain ideas and concepts
are considered to be highly valuable; so valuable, in fact, that they are
not questioned. This lack of questioning leaves these concepts intellectually
vague and elusive. Yet, this is not surprising, because we have seen, that,
any concept or attitude that is unquestionably and unconditionally shared
by the members of a society, does not require a great deal of precision,
nor does it require a process of intellectual refinement. The reason is,
of course, that the absence of dissenting opinions and interpretations of
a certain attitude or notion, makes the process of intellectual delineation
irrelevant, and, any questioning or scrutiny is then felt as an insult or
a sign of disloyalty.
In pride, we see a variety of attitudes, beliefs and opinions guiding our
behaviour. We have accepted these guidelines largely subconsciously, and,
we adhere to them without questions or hesitation. We can usually not define
the reasons, why we are proud of our origins, because the reasons are
unimportant, as long as the feeling or attitude of pride gives us comfort
and security. We feel attched to our roots, but, it is an emotional response,
and, we have no desire to substantiate our pride with an intellectual excercise
in supporting arguments, because we realise, intuitively, that such a process
may hurt us by making us aware of discrepancies and inconsistencies, which
would undermine our sense of security and certainty.
The contents and reasons for our pride remain, therefore, vague, as well
as nearly completely subconscious, and, this pride is best able to guide
us through a maze of behavioural choices as long as it stays in the subconscious
mind. This is what we want. We want our pride to be helpful to us, especially,
when we have to answer challenges to our existence, and, the last thing we
want, is to weaken our pride with a long intellectual analysis. The pride
of our origins and the prejudices of our cultural code work, therefore, closely
together to help us establish a comfortable niche for ourselves, and, by
relying heavily upon these two aspects of pride, we are less vulnerable to
the embarrassing awareness of a rather modest content of personal
achievements.
All these aspects play a role in determining our attitudes, and, they determine
also, to a large extent, our place in the social hierarchy. Pride is a defensive,
as well as an offensive weapon in the struggle for a position in the social
hierarchy, and, in particular, the weapons of prejudice and silent condemnation
become a powerful source of contempt and hatred. Certainly, our position
will have to be acknowledged, to a certain extent, by others in our social
surroundings, and, when we receive such an acceptance, we relax a little,
and, we may even show a humble facade, because we have "arrived".
The evaluation of personal achievment is, therefore, a mixture of jockeying
for a social position, (with the support and acknowledgement from the social
environment), together with a personal evaluation of our own skills and insights.
We can not rely entirely upon the acceptance given to us by others, because
we become then enslaved to a chronic insecurity in our dealings with other
people, but, neither can we disregard, totally, how other people think about
our achievements and aims.
We see, always, a mixture of skill and recognition, personal drive and
acceptance; an instinctive aggressiveness to dominate in the areas where
we are confident, as well as a recognition of the need to be relevant for
other people. In the concept of "success", we emphasise the judgement of
the social environment, while the word "achievement" focusses upon the merits
and accomplishments as seen by ourselves. Yet, both concepts are interrelated,
because neither can exist entirely independently from the other.
For most people, this differentiation between success and achievement will
be superfluous, because they can not, nor do they want to, distinguish between
a sense of personal achievement and the recognition of their efforts by others.
As we mentioned, we can not separate entirely the idea of achievement from
an evaluation by the social environment, because a totally individualistic
evaluation of an achievement becomes meaningless, because it may become an
autistic and irrelevant expression. On the other hand, we may want to emphasise,
that there could be a wide gulf between a superficial contemporary public
opinion and the later evaluation of a thoughtful audience or a small
group.
There is a marked difference between a modish, superficial public taste,
which has been manipulated by clever merchandising techniques, and, the careful
and unhurried evaluation of a thoughtful and reflective human being, who
has been seriously searching for satisfying answers when he perceived that
his surroundings were inadequate to provide the information and concepts
he was looking for. This discrepancy fuels the efforts of renewal and
re-evaluation, which become the objectives of many people who have to endure
the stress of chronic dissatisfaction.
As we mature, our sense of achievement may change dramatically, and, we may
even state, that we can not fully grow-up and mature, unless we are willing
to shift, from time to time, our ideas and objectives. Before we can divorce
ourselves from current fads and opinions about success and achievement, we
must develop a quiet pride and confidence in ourselves, which lets us study
and contemplate the meaning of our social surroundings as well as our own
existence.
Confidence in ourselves, therefore, is a factor that enters into our evaluation
of pride. However, a rigidly defined attitude of pride seems to be a defensive
substitute for a lack of quiet self-confidence, where we can be flexible
and unobtrusive, because we do not need to proclaim loudly our virtues and
values. A quiet self-confidence is in a much better position to take distance
from a specific cultural locale, and, the gain in intellectual precision,
as well as the awareness of previously unnoticed discrepancies, are remarkable
indeed. Individualised skills and personal differentiations become a viable
and flexible element of our existence, as we quietly explore avenues of endeavour
which are often foreign to a particular cultural locale. Yet, self-esteem,
confidence, pride and a genuine search for meaning remain tied-together in
the process of actualisation or becoming.
Pride may also be a fearful and powerful weapon of self-defense, capable
of overkill. Our pride may become such an obsession, that we refuse help
when we need it. From an outsider's point of view, such an attitude is clearly
self-defeating, but the sense of victory or the resistance to defeat may
be carried to such an extreme, that, for the sake of the heady emotion of
a proud triumph, much needed help will be refused in a defiant posture of
equality or superiority. Pride may, then, become the back-bone for an attitude
of tenacious resistance, but the strong sense of pride imparts a rigidity
that is detrimental to the adaptative capabilities of such an individual.
We see, here, an exact parallel with the rigidity imparted to beliefs that
are held sacred, and, we are describing essentially similar phenomena.
Pride in our roots of origin is, not surprisingly, strongly developed in
those people who need a strong support from their social environment in order
to feel secure. People, who rely heavily upon the feeling of acceptance by
their environment, will consider the integrity and continuity of their cultural
and social fabric as extremely important. Yet, as a rule, the sense of pride
for people who live in their place of social and cultural origin, remains
subdued, but, as soon as these people become separated from their culture,
the sense of pride and nostalgia become a source of strength, as well as
artistic inspiration. While people live and work within the society of their
birth, their common origins and cultural bonds remain submersed in the
subconscious mind, because people are absorbed, as everywhere else, by their
efforts to find a place in society.
Let us look at the opposite mechanisms, where we see a stranger or a group
of strangers enter our society and they start competing for a place within
our social environment. The common bond of the cultural heritage of the "natives"
is rapidly transformed into a common attitude of mild suspicion and silent
condescension. We become somewhat suspicious and defensive, because we do
not know the qualities and capabilities of these strangers, and, they may
pose a threat to the skills and ambitions of the local population. Yet, most
of the time, we are assured by our position of belonging to a majority, as
well as the obvious effort of the strangers to adopt our way of life. We
become tolerant, even mildly impressed by the efforts of these strangers,
as they seek to fit into "our society". How easy is it to slip into an attitude
of superficial elitism towards these strangers, and, we have then completed
the circle towards discrimination and prejudice.
Will the attitude of quiet confidence prevent us from forming prejudicial
judgements? In our attitudes of quiet self-confidence, we see, frequently,
an attitude of trust in the fellow human being. This attitude of trust is,
in essence, a part of this sense of quiet confidence, and, it is partly related
to the fortunate circumstances we were exposed to as a child. An atmosphere
of mutual trust and security gave us the confidence to be trustful towards
other people, even, if we learned to be cautious and discriminating as a
result of painful experiences. Yet, we also know, that a natural trust, which
developed as a result of fortunate childhood experiences, is not sufficient
to explain all trustful behaviour, and, we have discussed this remarkable,
deliberate act of trust carried-out by the mature adult as a result of his
religious convictions or personal philosophy.
Both factors play a role, and, we see, that the people, who are most likely
to become successful achievers and valuable leaders of their community, have
indeed experienced a fortunate mix of security and stimulation. They have
experienced enough security to retain their curiosity to learn about other
people and retain a willingness to expose themselves to unfamiliar surroundings,
but, they have also received a sufficient level of stimuluation to learn,
from an early age, the fine line between a charming trustfulness and a vulnerable
naivity.
Such fortunate and gifted people will feel less strongly the need to rely
upon the shelter of social acceptance or personal achievement. They do not
need a comforting elitism to protect their self-esteem from vicious assaults,
but, we should not forget, that the image of the truly altruistic personality
is more the result of an imaginative reflection about human potentials and
expectations, than the description of an actual reality in the world of living
human beings and their social environment.
.......
Chapter 3
Content
Pride and dignity.
Meaning of life; mental depression.
The dualism of good and evil; the role of leadership.
Religious concepts about an existence after dealth.
Western assumptions about its role as guardians of the Christian Faith.
The Western philosophy of competitiveness and free-enterprise.
Our knowledge of the Will of God.
Are the feelings of dignity, self-esteem and pride, in essence, similiar
in concept and attitude? We have seen, how contradictory the attitudes of
pride can be, and, we have reviewed some of the beneficial and harmful features
of pride. Pride may be a form of cultural or collective consciousness, and,
it is then a necessary element in the self-esteem of an individual or an
entire community, but, we have also discussed the rigidity and stubbornness,
as well as the unnecessary suffering and hardship attitudes of pride may
bring-about.
Yet, without pride and dignity, where do we stand? A wounded pride and a
trampled dignity are, often, more painful than physical wounds, and, they
still provide a major impetus for many bloody conflicts of revenge. We are
obviously dealing, here, with strong and primitive emotions. Does our sense
of pride prevent or help us to give dignity to another human being? Can we
only value other life, if we value our own, and, in what way do we have to
value ourselves, before we can value the existence of others?
If life becomes meaningless for us; if we have lost all sense of value of
being alive, the struggle for existence, even, the smaller efforts, will
then seem senseless to us, and a lack of the will to survive may endanger
many others. A profound feeling of depression reflects a period with many
unanswered questions. Why should we struggle; why should we continue to face
the contradictions, the non-understanding of it all? Why continue to live?
Would it not be better to dissolve completely into a non-existence, finally
at peace?
We tend to forget, that we will not be able to appreciate "being at peace",
if we are non-existent, and, if something of us survives, how can we be sure
that this something will be "at rest"? Our religious heritage says very clearly,
that such an existence in peace is not possible after death, unless we die
in peace and harmony with our conscience, accepted by our God.
The doubts of a severe mental depression affect all our experiences, including
our religious beliefs, and, the feelings of depression may be so strong,
that we are totally oblivious of our religious beliefs, when we take our
life in a fit of deep despair. Even, if we never cross this crucial threshold
of actually committing suicide, many doubts will be with us throughout our
existence, and, we will wonder to what extent we may trust our belief in
God, or, the codes of behaviour which our religious and secular leaders are
so anxious to impose upon us.
We wonder, whether or not we are being deceived, and, we suspect that our
obedience and sacrifices to the tenets of our Faith, or the needs of the
nation, are being exploited by our leaders and others in a position of power.
Are we merely a dumb pawn, a work-horse for the clever and the rich? Is all
this talk about good and evil, or patriotism and sacrifice for the good of
the nation, merely a sinister plot to exploit our efforts and psychological
resources?
Are all these promises about a life after death, eternal happiness and justice,
not merely a facile promise to keep us subdued and pliable while in bondage
to our exploiting over-lords? We have seen, too often, how the promises of
our leaders have been broken, and, how their own actions belie their teachings.
It is time to rethink, from the ground up, the role of our leaders, and,
in particular, we should scrutinise, very carefully, how they came to be
in a position of leadership.
It is probably one of the great ironies of the Western societies to consider themselves as the guardians of the Christian Faith and the champion of Christian ethics, while, at the same time, Western leaders have a tendency to propagate the ideas of personal success, of competitive struggle, and the glory of free-enterprise. It is not surprising, that Western ideology and the Christian faith present a confusing picture, and, that the outsider becomes suspicious, if he is asked, or forced, to swallow these inconsistencies. How can one proclaim in all sincerity, the virtues of brotherly love and Christian humility, while exhibiting, at the same time, a most blatant mixture of egocentric attitudes and gluttonous, opportunistic behaviour? And, we still wonder, why we are not believed by our bretheren in the under-developed world!
How would it look to us, if we see someone teaching, in all sincerity, the
virtues of poverty, humility and tolerance, or, even, a love for our enemies,
while he uses his powers to exploit? How would we react, if we see these
preachers accumulate wealth and property, while preaching sanctimoniously
about the God-willed divisions of the rich and the poor? We, in the West,
have appropriated as one of our cherished possessions, the exclusive guardianship
of a remarkable Faith, Christianity, and, we fight, with vigour, anyone,
who dares to challenge us as the official guardians of the Word of God.
We defend brotherly love with vigour and violence. Failure and poverty are
God's punishment for a lack of Faith in adhering to a militant social code,
and, we have become, beyond the shadow of a doubt, God's chosen people, who
know how to interpret the Word and the Will of God.
We are proud of our righteousness, and, we have chained Christ to our side.
We know, that God has given us this good feeling of winning the struggle
for survival as a God-given reward to industrious and acquisitive people,
and, we have the right to be exclusive and scornful of those, who have not
recognised our right to interpret the Word of God. We quarrel and fight for
the honour of our Lord, while we occupy, without any questions, the most
privileged positions, because we know, that it is God's Will to be where
we are. Would God not have arranged it differently, if our position in the
world would not conform to the Will of God?
What happened to love and charity? Yes, we have not forgotten them. We contribute
every week to the Church, and, we are helping the poor. Those poor, mind
you, deserve to be poor, because we can not really help those upon whom God's
displeasure has fallen, and, we know, do we ever know, whom God loves and
whom He despises! We know God's Will so well, that we confidently proclaim
whom God has destined to be saved or whom he has damned, forever, even, if
the Lord still has to pronounce Judgement.
What about the attitude of humility, and the confession of our sins? Sure,
we know we are sinful, but we have made a great deal of progress. We do not
ruffle the feelings of our neighbours or the members of the congregation.
We are disciplined in our behaviour and our thoughts, and we do not take
deliberately advantage of anyone, who belongs to God's chosen people. However,
the other people, the outsiders and heathens, we certainly do take advantage
of, because they do not deserve to be treated like equal human beings. After
all, they do not belong to the children of God. By taking advantage of them,
we praise the Lord, because we add to the wealth and glory of the children
of God, and, we may help those wretched sinners realise that they are losing-out
to God's chosen people.
Perhaps, they will see the light and join us. Of course, we would have to
deliberate very carefully, whether or not it is in God's interest to have
these strangers join us, but, the ways of the Lord are wonderful. Perhaps,
He meant to save some of these wretched creatures after all, but, they have
to show proper humility for the Lord, and, they will have to beg before they
are allowed to join the children of God.
.......
Chapter 4
Content
Difficulties with Christian ethics.
The inversion of the biological heritage.
Pride in suffering for Christ.
The apparent inversion of the attitude of pride.
The value of atonement.
The problem with Christian ethics lies in the fact, that it advocates a complete
break with the most fundamental aspects of our biological heritage. It advocates
non-aggression, non-violence, non-resistance to attack, representing a total
inversion of the value of existence; from a biological self-defense in the
search for viability, to an ultimate value in eternal life, by sacrificing
the self for the sake of others.
Christian beliefs and attitudes, when taken to their extreme, logical
conclusions, invert, therefore, completely the value of the self, including
the value of human existence. This inversion resulted from an intuitive
recognition of the fact, that the biological drive to self-preservation and
an exploratory expansion into all possibilities of existence, leads always
to strife, conflict, death and misery. Perhaps, a radical inversion of the
drive to self-preservation could overcome the riddle of suffering and death.
If the drive to adhere to life always leads to conflict and misery, then,
the drive to sacrifice one's life should lead to never-ending love, peace
and happiness. It seemed a remarkable persuasive attitude at the time the
Christian belief structures were coming into being, because meaning was given
to suffering in a way it had never been given before.
Suffering becomes, then, a means of increasing one's self-esteem; not openly,
in a boasting manner, but hidden, quietly, in an act of atonement and
reconciliation with the Creator. Only suffering, born for the good of mankind,
and endured for the sake of non-violence, will increase the value of individual
existence in the Judgement of God and His Suffering Son. How remarkably
persuasive is it, to take the figure of a crucified rebel and transform it
into a symbol of mankind, which can now be redeemed from its curse of Original
Sin , and find access to an enduring and eternal harmony of divine
existence.
We have discussed, before, why such an attitude or belief is, in essence,
unassailable, because every effort and hardship to effect a change in attitude,
will only serve as a fuel to kindle the importance and meaning of sacrificial
attitudes and beliefs. Such a belief and atitude can only be conquered, (very
successfully, as a matter of fact), by comfort, wealth and freedom from all
stress. In a stress-free situation, the symbol of the suffering Christ starts
to lose its relevance, and, we know, how quickly the relevance of a suffering
Christ can fade.
Do we, indeed, see in the Christian attitude of humility, an inversion of
the attitude of pride as well? Not at all. The values have only changed polarity.
If we humble our ego before someone else, we add to the value of the self
in the light of our beliefs, and, we re-enforce our beliefs, until our Faith
is so strong, that, only severe suffering, or, even, death may be sufficient
to bring-about a full identification or union with Christ.
Is this pride. Yes, it is a form of pride. However, it may not be a superficial
pride to gain esteem in the eyes of our fellow believers. The costs are too
high for that, and, it is usually a genuine, be it compulsive attitude, which
makes us believe, that this is the only way to gain self-esteem in the light
of our Faith.
The feverish demands of such a strenuous code of behaviour make it imperative
to have some kind of mechanism whereby we can admit to ourselves, as well
as to the community at large, that we have failed to some extent; that we
have made mistakes, and, that we have been weak because of fear or temptation.
Our self-respect, which has been wounded by attitudes and actions we condemn
in ourselves as a weakness, a temptation, and a betrayal of our Faith and
our God, needs to be restored. If we can not find a genuinely satisfying
way to restore our self-respect, we become utterly depressed and
helpless.
Without an effective way to purge a soul, or a guilty conscience, the tensions
become unbearable. The sense of self-esteem disappears completely, and the
individual falls, then, into a dangerous state of depression, which may lead
to crime or suicide. The tendency to self-destruction may easily lead to
homicide and other acts of reckless disregard for human life.
We have to be able to feel the cleansing emotional surge of acknowledgeing
and repenting our mis-deeds, in one way or another, and such a mechanism
does not have to be confined to religious creeds. Everyone of us has to choose,
at times, between our own interests and the interests of others, and, everyone
will make a choice, now and then, which we regret, in retrospect. Then, we
need a mechanism whereby we can make a fresh start and become, once again,
an accepted member of our environment. The confession and repentance of
wrong-doings is the only way to restore, effectively, a sense of pride in
ourselves, and, all other mechanisms, regardless, how tempting it is to cover-up
the promptings of our conscience, lead only to deeper trouble.
.......
Chapter 5
Content
The destructiveness of the loss of self-esteem.
The problem of silent contempt.
Another look at the religious community.
The two forms of Christianity.
Reviewing the meaning of self-esteem.
Shifting goal-patterns and the meaning of life.
Limitations of egocentric attitudes.
The teaching of wisdom.
The act of atonement.
The basic requirements of wisdom.
The life-cycle of individuals and societies.
It seems reasonable to conclude, that we all need a sensitive, differentiated
and somewhat independent sense of pride, in order to make attitudes of
cooperation, understanding and mutual respect possible. A loss of self-esteem
is destructive for ourselves and, frequently, for others as well.
It is true that an aggressor may sense our pride and self-confidence as a
form of contempt, in spite of the fact, that we try to be understanding and
cooperative. This quiet self-confidence and composure may provoke further
anger and hatred, because the aggressor may feel threatened by a superior
pride and self-esteem. It is not difficult to see, that a sense of
self-confidence may easily slide into an attitude of superiority or silent
contempt, but, if we give-in to such temptations, even, if it is done
subconsciously, we have to acknowledge, that we failed in our efforts to
be humble and compassionate.
How can we be compassionate and understanding, if we feel a secret contempt
for someone? Yes, we can not deny, that it may be impossible to overcome
such an emotion of contempt, regardless, how hard we try. We can not give
dignity to our assailant, if we feel contempt for him. We can only lose our
feelings of contempt, if we recognise the behavioural mechanisms of our
asssailant as drives or impulses, which we have experienced ourselves. Only,
when we realise, how much we have in common with our assailant, will we be
able to understand, with charity in our hearts, rather than with contempt
in our attitudes. However, if we are still too close to the difficulties
we experienced when mastering trends we have condemned in ourselves; if we
still remember, how much effort it took to overcome these temptations, we
are emotionally aroused, and, in a subconscious state of defensiveness, we
try to suppress, forcefully, the recognition or acknowledgement of these
mechanisms.
By showing an attitude of aversion towards a recently suppressed trait, we
try to keep this trend from re-asserting itself within us. Then, we have
not been able, as yet, to see, how we all share in such or similar trends.
We do not understand, as yet, who we are. Prejudice has a very similar basis,
as we mentioned before. Here, too, we treat with contempt and, often, with
an emotional vehemence that surprises us, certain characteristics of human
behaviour and existence we have trouble controling ourselves.
We judge others harshly, and, we condemn prejudicial attitudes or practices
harshly in others, without realising, that our judgements may have prejudicial
overtones as well. We judge harshly, whenever we see, how the congregation
of believers makes a mockery of the beliefs and guidelines they profess to
adhere to. Perhaps, we should look at these people again. Perhaps, we may
be able to see, how these believers have been steeped in a rigid moral code
from early childhood; how they have been disciplined by their parents and
their social surroundings, all their lives, and, how they still discipline
themselves, now, as adults, while they are, in turn, disciplining their own
children in the righteous ways of the Lord.
How often did they have to suppress one desire or another, which others could
seemingly indulge in without ill effects? How often have they been abstemious
when others indulged? Is it not reasonable to think that there may have been
a twinge of envy, now and then, when the faithful compared their own austere
attitudes and life-style with other people, who could do whatever they wanted,
and, who would later repent their sins in loud wails and profuse tears? Can
it be held against them, that they must have felt themselves a little better
than those, who have come back to the fold after a life of undisciplined
hedonism?
The righteous members of the congregation have made major investments in
moral and disciplined behaviour all their lives, and, even, if they are not
aware of it, such an emotional investment must make them feel more at home
with those, who also worked hard to live by their Faith and conscience. Is
it surprising, then, that they become clannish and clique together in an
attitude of silent elitism and condemnation of those, who seek admission
to the Lord at the last moment? Is it surprising to see, that the disciplined,
God-fearing and austere community values more a life-long devotion to decency,
discipline and righteousness, than an attitude of deep understanding and
forgivenness towards the repenting sinner, who has tasted all those forbidden
fruits and found them wanting?
It is not surprising, that there are two forms of Christianity; the orderly,
somewhat narrow and righteous community, where the members live a disciplined
life of suppressed drives and suspended emotions, and, on the other hand,
the discovery and re-discovery of this momentous mystery of God's Grace and
Love, when, suddenly, in an emotional surge, a somewhat reckless life-style
is converted into a new sense of value. The Christianity of the repentent
sinner is essentially different from the Christianity of the disciplined
community; and, these opposites seldom meet.
If we come to the conclusion, that we have done reasonably well in living-up
to our morals and ideals, whatever they may be, we can feel a certain
satisfaction with ourselves, and, we assign ourselves a certain value. In
our most expansive years, we keep shifting our goal-patterns further and
further away, or, we change them into a different direction, because we feel
a certain disappointment when we reach our objectives. "Is this now it",
we ask ourselves intuitively. "Is this what we have worked for", and, we
do not quite know, what to do next, because we are still searching to unfold
the potentials of our particular existence.
If we keep shifting the goal-patterns in the same direction, we are striving
for an ever greater degree of perfection in our accomplishments. This is
the characteristic of the perfectionist, and, if we are successful, we become
an expert in our field of endeavour. Most of us will shift our goal-patterns
over a much wider range, and, this results in a broadening of our experiences
and knowledge, but, at the same time, we run the risk of becoming somewhat
haphazard and diffuse in the focus of our attention.
There is another, more important shift in goal-patterns, which many of us
make somewhat later in life. We may realise, after the expansionism of our
youth and adolescence, that all our goals were primarily egocentically oriented
around the processes of becoming and exploring our potentials. However, after
we have learned to accept the inevitability of declining powers and diminishing
opportunities, we have to rethink the meaning of our existence. Then, we
will look, again, with a fresh and mature insight upon the ethical and moral
codes of our beliefs, and, we start to search for a meaning of life that
goes byond the simple goals of achievement or the unfolding of personal
abilities.
Now, we become sensitive, again, to the beauty of ethics, after we forgot,
in a busy maturity, our youthful enthousiasm for justice during adolescence.
In our simplistic enthousiasm, we hoped to reform the world. Now, after the
peak of maturity has passed, we hope to reform ourselves, but, this task
seems equally as difficult as the idealistic objectives of our youth. We
try to reformulate the meaning of existence, and, we may come, rather suddenly,
to the conclusion, that our goals of self-actualisation were vain objectives;
that they were beside the point of ultimate meaning, and, we may, suddenly,
lose our sense of self-esteem, as we realise, ever more clearly, how we have
wasted our time on false idols, on egocentric, futile pursuits, and, how
our achievements will die with us, totally meaningless for others.
We are starting to see, that our ultimate hope is to be remembered, in one
way or another, by those, who will come after us, and, we begin to see, more
clearly, that such an accomplishment does not depend at all on what we hoped
to get out of life, but, what we gave to life; what we meant to others. Let
us not forget, that we, the living generations only look to the past, or
the present, with the blatantly egocentric question; "what does it all mean
for us"? We revere art, knowledge, or, any other human expression, only,
when it has relevance for us. Therefore, if we want to be remembered; if
we want other people to know us and care about the fact that we existed,
we have to make a genuine gift; we have to be willing to be or do something
for someone else.
Let us not jump to the conclusion, that we all should try to become a major
artist or scientist, whose name will be wispered in awe for generations to
come. We have seen, how circumstances beyond the control of anyone particular
individual play a role in the creation of a major artistic or scientific
work, and, we know, now, that a remembered name depends, heavily, upon the
lucky circumstances, as well as the hard work, which allowed someone to become
a major contributor to future generations.
We all can make the contribution of a genuine and sincere effort to understand
ourselves and the people around us, and, we all should realise that the attitudes
of kindness and compassion are empty and phony, unless we are able to understand
the nature of human existence. We all can, and should, make this effort to
grasp the essence of our existence, because without a coherent idea about
the meaning of our existence, we can not hope to make a genuine
contribution.
If we realise during our declining years, how blindly we have followed the egocentric promptings of our biological heritage, we are dismayed and depressed, at least, for a while, as we reflect upon the waste of time and the futility of our efforts. We feel to have been deceived by our passions, and, we have been blinded by our drives; we have only succeeded to carve, temporarily, a niche for ouselves in the social surroundings, and, we have the uneasy suspicion, that our strenuous efforts have only created a distance between us and others, as we realise that our environment is patiently waiting for our decline and demise; waiting to fill our place as soon as possible. Indeed, how soon will we be forgotten!
We wonder, how we will be remembered and judged, if we are remembered at
all, and, we know, that we will be soon forgotten, regardless how hard we
tried to be remembered, because our efforts and achievements have so little
relevance for other people, except, perhaps, as a spur to emulate a similar
effort of ruthlessly egocentric achievement.
We may, suddenly, come to the conclusion, that we have gone into the wrong
direction, and, we feel a large gap between, where we are, and, where we
ought to be. We become depressed; we feel useless, and, we experience a great
need to confess to our environment, how wrong our goal-patterns have been.
Now, we may become sensitive again to the religious ideals of human existence.
We may become sensitive to the beauty of being redeemed from our errors by
a divine love, or a divine way of salvation, and the attitude of open-hearted
kindness towards others overwhelms us and becomes the ultimate meaning of
our existence.
In this emotional re-adjustment to the finality of our existence, we sometimes
tend to forget, (overcome with the remorse over our wasted years), that we
can only recognise the limitations of biologically oriented goal-patterns,
because we have pursued them, successfully, for many years. We only recognise
the futilty of relentless egocentric goal-patterns, if we have had the
opportunity to fulfill a majority of our biological drives. Without having
sought, and found, egocentric goals and satisfactions, an altruistic attitude
would be impossible.
We all fall into the trap of trying to teach our youngsters the experiences
of wisdom. We can not teach young people our conclusions, and, we would be
far better of to develop a kind understanding for the origin and nature of
their egocentricity, because we have been subjected to these same passions
as well.
Our self-esteem fluctuates, therefore, quite widely throughout our life-time,
and, these fluctuations occur, because we shift our objectives from time
to time. We must have a certain self-esteem, and, we have tried to make it
understandable, why we need a mechanism to restore this self-esteem, from
time to time, whenever we have damaged it by disappointing ourselves with
our own behaviour. By the act of atonement, the gap between what we ought
to be and what we are, is narrowed. When we are fully aware of this wide
gap, we are most seriously disillusioned with ourselves. We are depressed,
and our self-esteem is low, but, it starts to rise, as soon as we have been
able to bring ourselves to the powerful act of atonement, repentance or
acknowledgement of short-comings.
One of the most remarkable aspects of a state of full maturity, is the
realisation, by people all over the world, that purely egocentric goal-patterns
lead, eventually, to a bitter emptiness; a non-fulfilment, a hollow victory.
Why is this, or, is this evaluation an idealistic deception? We have to
emphasise, again, that the hollowness of an egocentric victory can only be
appreciated, after such a victory has taken place. Unfortunately, many human
beings die without having been allowed to fulfil, even, their most basic
existential requirements. For these unfortunate people, who die stunted in
their development by malnutrition, oppression and disease, the development
of the normal ego-drive is dull and stunted as well.
If people are finally able to secure, after a long struggle, an adequate
set of circumstances for normal growth and a full development of their
potentials, we see a vigorous ego-drive, which may display strong sentiments
of aggression and resentment towards those, who were responsible for their
misery and poverty, while they are able to identify, at least, to some extent,
with the oppressed and the poor throughout the world.
Later, after such a social environment has learned, like countless societies
before, that history is repeating iself, again and again; when such a society
starts to realise, how often the same cycle of birth, growth and maturation
has taken place before, the satiation of ego-drives and primary biological
requirements will make these people susceptible to the philosophical quest
for a universally acceptable meaning of human life. These people may go through
a phase of compassion, mutual affection and kindness, even towards those
who are outside the cultural boundaries of their origins, before the inexorable
processes of affluence, decay and corruption set-in, once again.
It would be foolish to try to teach the hungry and depraved attitudes of
kindness and compassion towards those who have oppressed them for so long.
In their oppression, they have learned interdependence and kindness within
their culture and society very well, but, we can not expect, that they will
develop, quickly, a philosophical broadness of mind towards those people
and groups of people who contributed to their oppression and misery.
Pride in social growth, the unfolding of talents, together with a state of
vigorous health for those who recently triumphed over poverty, disease and
malnutrition, is similar to the proud success of the under-privileged youngster,
who finds, with determination and pluck, a place in the society he has just
entered. Do not expect a doubting, questioning and philosophising outlook
in those, whose vigour is far greater than the elan vital of the established
members.
Yet, we know, that these "nouveau arrivees" will, eventually, become established
members, too, just as we were new-comers, not so long ago. Then, the process
for a deeper search for the meaning of life will repeat itself. This is the
reason, why it is fair to state, that, eventually, a point will be reached
by every healthy individual or social environment, just past the stage of
full maturity, when the experiences of human awareness, as well as the questions
of life and death, will begin to find their answers beyond the primary drives
and satisfactions of a biological heritage.
.......
Summary
.......