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A PERSONAL NOTE
A Study in Thought
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by
Marius Heuff
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Chapter 1
The origins of the family I came from.
An illustration of the concept of "less deserving heirs".
Where my parents met.
My entry into the world.
I barely survived my first few years.
A turbulent childhood.
A haphazard period of primary schooling.
A very good time after WWII in
We probably owed our lives to the atomic bombs dropped on
Life in
My own development was rather uneventful.
A shy and reflective personality.
A long-standing fascination with the piano.
My admiration for the Rumanian pianist; Dinu Lipatti.
Only later, I understood the secret of his remarkably sonorous piano-playing.
Why I never developed a sound foundation for playing the piano.
A neurotic blockage that coloured my personality for the rest of my life.
A lack of guidance, discipline and self-discipline.
1 My father came from a
well-established and relatively well-to-do family in the heartland of the
"Betuwe", a region of fertile farmlands lying in between the great
rivers in
2 My father's sister and her
husband had bought a substantial fruit-farm in the
3 After their marriage, they moved
to the Dutch East Indies, a colony of
4 After a number of years in the
Dutch East Indies, now called Indonesia, working on the main island of Java,
the sugar industry also shut-down almost completely, and my parents moved back
to Holland for a few years, "waiting-out" the depression. My father
was "laid-off" but he was paid a small retainer while waiting for
better times to come. Soon after they arrived back in
5 The period of early childhood
was unsettled. Social and economic conditions were turbulent in the aftermath
of the Great Depression and the gathering of the storm-clouds of war. My
parents moved around a lot, and soon after I entered the period of formal
schooling, all European people were placed in concentration camps by the
Japanese to whom the Dutch had surrendered without much of a fight. My father
was called-up for war-duty, shortly before the Japanese invasion, and spent
most of his time in a prisoner of war camp in
6 My mother was able to continue
my schooling at least to some extent, and I lost only two years out of the
four. In addition, I had started school a year early, because my mother had
already begun teaching me at the age of five, as I seemed often to have been
bored because of a lack of something to do. My sister also survived the period
of internment in the Japanese concentration camps. We were re-united with my
father shortly after the war, after we were brought to
7 Fortunately, my health had
remained surprisingly good during the lean years of chronic starvation in the camps.
While I do not remember any particular incidences of harsh treatment and
atrocities towards the women and children, the food was totally inadequate.
There was virtual no medical attention, and most people believed that the
Japanese were engaged in a deliberate policy of starving the European
population to death, just as the food-supply and medical facilities for the
prisoners of war lacked any measure of decency or adequacy. We always
contributed our survival to the sudden capitulation of
8 After several months waiting in
9 My parents had lost everything
as a result of the war and came back to
10 Yet, my father was able to find
employment, be it mostly of a temporary nature. He worked for a while as a
teacher in organic chemistry on a high-school, and he also corrected
correspondence courses at home. My own development was rather uneventful. I was
placed in the last class of the primary school on my return to
11 However, my piano-studies
reflected the generally lax and undisciplined approach which my parents took to
my education and up-bringing. Probably, they were already quite happy that I
never gave them "much trouble", but, as a result, I never learned or
understood the importance of a well-guided, disciplined approach to the study
of the piano. Yet, I had a good ear for the beauty of the music that could be
made with this instrument, but I had to teach myself, by and large, how to
play, since my teacher also let me "potter around" without much
guidance. All through high-school I struggled, in a rather benign and partially
subconscious manner, with the problem that I was not satisfied with the sounds
I could produce on the piano, because my accomplishments were now outstripped
by the talents and skills of a "super-ego image"; represented by a
remarkably proficient artist who enjoyed a short but well-publicized career as
a pianist. This was the Rumanian pianist Dinu Lipatti, who died at the age of
thirty-three from leukemia, just as his career started to take off. He died in
December of 1950, when I was just sixteen and I had just "discovered"
him through a broad-cast of the Grieg piano-concerto.
12 Certainly, we all choose our heroes at this age, and my hero was Dinu Lipatti. What I did not understand at the time, was the secret of his remarkably sonorous piano-playing. Later, I realised that his illness had forced him to concentrate on a very small repertoir, and he choose, (probably deliberately, and partially as a result of the circumstances), to hone this small repertoir to perfection, allowing him to capture the imagination of the public and the critics. Indeed, the Grieg and Schumann piano-concertos were marvels of performance. However, this emphasis on sonority also gave his playing a somewhat "heavy feel", which was not always quite successful, but, at the time, of course, I could not see, nor did I wanted to hear, any such criticisms or considerations of a trade-off between a certain effect produced on an instrument, and, the necessary limitations associated with it.
13 Throughout high-school, I dreamt
of a career in music, and, specifically, to become a professional pianist, but,
my pre-occupation with the sonority of the instrument prevented me from
developing a more carefree and general approach to the playing of this instrument.
I became so pre-occupied with a few master-pieces for the piano, that I
neglected to develop a solid foundation of "dexterity". I failed to
play a lot of essentially "easier music", and, as a result I failed
to develop the ability to sight-read. I also failed to become "handy"
in the more popular forms of music, and as a result, I never enjoyed the
ability to "entertain" on a party, but I occasionally
"performed" a more difficult piece for the piano on a school-concert.
However, my dissatisfaction with my own playing, and the bad habit of never
been able to finish the playing of a piece of music without stopping and
repeating the mistakes I had made, resulted in a severe "neurotic
blockage", which has coloured my personality for the rest of my life.
14 Only slowly, did I realise what
was wrong. In the beginning, I did not understand why I could not proceed on
the road towards mastering the more difficult techniques of playing the piano,
especially, since I was not adverse to practicing diligently a lot of technical
problems. The absence of guidance, here, made me concentrate, far too soon, on
a few aspects of piano-playing, while neglecting to build-up a solid foundation
of skills and insights that would have been essential, if I would decide to
make a career of it. I stagnated, and my social surroundings probably gave-up,
or never really tried to make me understand what was wrong. By this time, I may
well have been pig-headed enough not to listen to sound advise, but, I believe
that I was essentially very eager to learn. I never encountered someone who
told me outright what my problem was and had the force of personality to tell
me that I should become much more disciplined and versatile; if I was to have
any chance of following a professional career, or, even, just a professional
training like a conservatorium.
.......
Chaper 2
A period of rather extensive "day-dreaming".
At the end of high-school I abandoned any ideas about becoming a professional
musician.
My studies at the
A remarkably casual approach to intellectual studies.
The ability to retain essentials after a single or even somewhat superficial
exposure.
I had a good time in
The remarkable development of the vinyl LP record and the availability of a
large classical repertoir.
How and when I started collecting records.
My records are still in excellent condition.
I never was an adventurous personality.
How I met my future wife, and how we began to plan our immigration.
Remarkably smooth and quick developments.
I repeated medical exams without having to go to
My unconventional studying techniques came in good stead.
1 In stead, I retreated into
"day-dreaming" about the time when I would be able to play the
beloved master-pieces to perfection, while not progressing one iota. By the
time I finished high-school or "gymnasium", (a demanding course
including many subjects, such as French, German and English, Dutch of course,
mathematics and the sciences, but also Latin and Greek), I had abandoned any
idea of becoming a professional musician. More or less by accident, and the
good services of a perceptive teacher, I acquired a small scholarship and was
able to begin my studies at the
2 I learned easily, but never
gave much effort to my studies. As a matter of fact, I was essentially bored
with most lectures, but I scraped by. I attended very few of the classes and
only a minimum requirement of the various "labs". As a result I had
to "cram" for examinations, but I learned how to study from my
English text-books. This came in good stead when I immigrated to
3 I had a good time in
4 Certainly, not all of us were
following the courses at the faculty of medicine. Some of my friends were
historians, or were taking art-courses, or some other less well defined topic
of study, but we all were essentially content people. We were looking forward
to the future and never encountered any serious problems. In retrospect, it was
remarkable, how little we heard about crimes compared to the later periods of
post-war social developments. Indeed, the immedate post-war era, even in
5 Indeed, these were happy times.
The cost of a long-playing record was still very high, however, and the
acquisition of these remarkable records was done very carefully and diligently,
but I have spent many hours marveling at the skills of competent artists,
especially, pianists. Naturally, I had already begun to collect the records
made by Dinu Lipatti when I was still in high-school. These recordings were
made during the era preceding the long-play records and his performances were
issued on "shellac platters" that could contain at the most six
minutes of music and turned at a speed of 78 revolutions per minute. Soon,
however, a longer duration record was issued, but the format of the long-play
record became only established after the speed of 33 and 1/3 revolution per
minute was widely adopted, together with the sapphire and diamond needle or
stylus, and, eventually, the magnetic cartridge.
6 My interests were nearly
exclusively musical, and I never spent much money on the very expensive hi-fi
equipment that came out, year and year. I was perfectly happy with a simple
turn-table, a ceramic cartridge and a sapphire needle, playing my records over
a simple radio receiver; but later, when my financial situation allowed it, I
became also more interested in obtaining the best possible play-back from my
records. As I mentioned before, nearly all the records I bought are still in
such a good condition that they can be played satisfactorily on my most recent
equipment. A great deal of attention to eliminating surface noise has convinced
me that the best LP's are just as good in reproducing sound as the CD.
Certainly, modern recording techniques have made it possible to obtain a
clarity of sound that was just not available with the older analogue equipment
that was used to make the primary recordings from which the long-play records
were cut.
7 I was not an adventurous
individual. As I mentioned, I rarely if ever got into a scrape or a fight. I do
not remember ever breaking the law through pranks or any other deliberate act,
but I may have broken the law inadvertently or through oversight. I was also
not very adventurous when it came to meeting the opposite sex. I preferred to
admire a girl from a distance, rather than risk making any contacts with her.
Certainly, as I grew older, I become more confident of myself but I never had
any significant bond with a girl, until I met the girl who became my wife. Very
conventionally, I met her at a graduation party at the home of one of my best
friends of primary and high-school; about four years after my own graduation. I
attended a public primary school and high-school in Nymegen, because it was
only a ten minute ride on the bike across the bridge. The party was in honour
of the recent graduates from a Catholic high-school, and my future wife was a
girlfriend of my friend's sister. Very conventional, but, we got along well.
8 About the same time that I met
her, I had begun to think about the future, and I was playing with the idea of
immigrating to
9 Our honeymoon was a trip into
the unknown. I knew that my academic studies at the
10 Using multiple choice questions
allows examiners to standardise their evaluations of students, and, indeed, it
would be, at the same time, a good test for the comprehension and language
skills of the candidates. Therefore, after our arrival in
.......
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Chapter 3
A look at our immigration to
Differences in medical training between
The trip to
A remarkable first ten years in
Ambitious plans to continue my education at the MNI.
How a misunderstanding led to my acceptance.
The
A training that was heavily weighted towards "seizure surgery".
For the first time, I had to really work hard in order to learn at a rapid
pace.
In 1969 I became a Fellow of the
A look back at my bout with acute tuberculosis at the end of my stay in
My health held-out well in
My work-scedule as an intern and resident.
A brief look at our family.
1 My wife and I immigrated to
2 While I was preparing for
the final university examinations, we had to get ready for the move to
3 We did not even have time for a
farewell party, and I invited all my friends from
4 The ten years from 1959 to 1969
were indeed remarkable. Within this period I was able to repeat the medical
examinations that allowed me access to a licence to practice medicine. The
first one was the "basic sciences examination" I mentioned before. I
failed pharmacology, but I was able to repeat it six months later, and this
gave me access to the internship program. I learned a lot, because I did not
have any exposure to the clinical training before, but, once again, the
learning process was essentially haphazard. It depended on learning from
practice; from the advise I got here and there; from seeing what other people
were doing, and, from observing what was going-on in a hospital. The pace
remained hectic, because the internship program was only one year in stead of
the two years in
5 During the time I worked in the
laboratory as an "extern", (or as an assistant to the pathologists
working in this hospital laboratory), I met remarkably helpful and friendly
people who were obviously somewhat concerned for our success. We were both
young and energetic and willing to work hard, but we would never have made it
without the generosity and the hospitality of the people we met in those first
two years in
6 I received a courteous but
somewhat discouraging reply, indicating that many qualified people were
applying for a period of study and training at this institution. Yet, I
insisted upon receiving an appointment for an interview, indicating that I
would, somehow, find the means to take the train back to
7 This misunderstanding came to
the fore, later, during my stay in
8 The Institute had made its name
under its founder, Wilder Pennfield; an American, who became a pioneer in the
surgical treatment of certain forms of epilepsy, and this specialisation was
reflected in the type of patients the Institute received. However, in addition,
also "ordinary" neurological and neurosurgical patients from a more
local referral area were treated there, and this was appropriate; otherwise,
the training of the fellows and students in these specialties would have been
even more specialised than it already was. There were many other departments
which had sprung-up as a result of the type of patients that came to the
Institute, and, indeed, even during my seven-year stay at the Institute, the
accent was still heavily weighted on "seizure surgery", in spite of
the fact that Dr. Wilder Pennfield had already retired when I arrived.
9 I began my stay, just as in
10 In 1969 I succeeded in passing
the examinations of the
11 I should mention, here, that,
at the end of my internship in
12 I was actually able to take
these examinations for the Enabling Certificate in
13 The first decade was extremely
hectic, but, fortunately, my health never gave-out, in spite of the many long
hours spent working at the Neurological Institute. The clinical training
consisted in "working as an intern", or junior medical worker for one
of the three neurosurgical teams working there. This meant, that there were two
permanent staff members, a senior or "head" of the service, as well
as a more junior assistant for each of the surgical teams. Under these
permanent staff members there was a team of three "house physicians";
a resident who was responsible for the work that had to be done, and he had two
assistants, or interns, who would alternate on duty every other night.
Therefore, for the first few years in clinical training, I would be home only
every other night and every other week-end, and, on my days off, I would often
not come home till about eight o'clock in the evening.
14 Our five daughters were born between
1960 and 1970, and you may wonder where I found the time to see my wife.
Certainly, contacts with the children were somewhat difficult, because they
would already be in bed and asleep, on many occasions, before I made it home on
my days off. However, as a resident, the schedule was a little easier, but not
much. Since there were three services, there were also three residents, and we
alternated being on call one week at the time. This meant, that, as a resident
we could go home every night and week-end, as long as we were not "on
call". Then, it was necessary to stay in the hospital for an entire week
at the time.
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Chapter 4
A hectic work-schedule suitable for younger people.
I enjoyed my stay at the MNI immensely.
I realised that I could not find a permanent job at the MNI.
A career in "private practice" and a desire to build-up some assets.
Working in a private practice was not easy.
It was tempting to go back to an academic institution.
We moved from New Foundland to
Rapid changes during the first few years in
I have always been a "reluctant surgeon".
I wanted a "break"; a sabbatical of a year or so.
The pay-off of a lifelong habit of living frugally.
A bold experiment with a frugal, near self-sufficient lifestyle in the
country-site.
The various strands that led to an early retirement.
Why I began to write.
1 Clearly, such schedules are not
suitable for older people, and, indeed, academic Institutions like the Montreal
Neurological Institute relied a great deal on the energy and eagerness of its
house staff to keep everything running smoothly. Certainly, I was never bored
and enjoyed my stay immensely. However, it became clear to me as the years
progressed, (and as I was getting closer and closer to the time that I would
have to do my final exams and be looking for a permanent position), that I had
no chance of staying-on at the Montreal Neurological Institute. A few Canadian
fellows were obviously being "groomed" for an academic career, and they
had far more background training than I had. One of them had already a PhD in
the field of neuro-physiology, and the other had a Master's degree in the same
field. Obviously, I could not stay there, and I had no contacts with any other
academic Institutions.
2 Perhaps, it would have been
possible to stay-on as a "post-doctorate fellow", which is still a
non-permanent position with an income that was a little better than that of a
resident, and, also, with more time to study or devote oneself to a specific
research project, but, by this time, I also realised that time was not standing
still. I owed it to myself, and my family, to think about building-up a few
assets; to settle-down, somewhere, and make a living with the speciality I had
been trained for. Certainly, in order to establish oneself in "private
practice", it was necessary to have the qualifications from the Royal
College before any hospital would extend "privileges" to practice
one's specialty, and this was the reason why I became first an assistant of the
neurosurgeon in Newfoundland and only established myself later in private
practice; after I got my "fellowship".
3 However, I learned that there
was a world of difference between working in a well-organised and specialised
institution like the Montreal Neurological Institute, or MNI, and the world of
"private practice". As soon as I went to
4 Indeed, it was very tempting to
go back to an academic Institution, where I would not have to bother with all
these concerns, but then, I realised that the time of being a resident or
intern was over. Besides, if I wanted to make some money, I had to persist and
learn to work within the limitations and opportunities available at any
specific location or environment. Fortunately, I received an invitation to come
to
5 There was already another neurosurgeon there, who had come-in as an assistant to the previous head of the department, but we were both working as associates, without any formal arrangement. We would both look after our own patients. We would alternate week-ends "on call", where we would take care of emergencies. However, by and large, we looked after our own patients, even on the week-ends off, because we both stayed home most of the time, and would be available for consultation by the nursing staff, whenever necessary. Indeed, we had very good nurses who were very experienced, because many of them had been with the department of neurosurgery for some time.
6 The first few years were quite
busy and I did not have much to do with the politics, because I left my
colleague, who had been there already for a number of years, in charge of the
duties of being a "head of department". Yet, things changed quite
rapidly during the years I was there. Probably, because we both were not really
interested in politics, and because of the fact that our predecessor had made
strong but perhaps somewhat unpopular efforts to keep neurosurgery centralised
in
7 In short; I was not really involved in the medical politics that were going-on, but this also meant, that we did not exert, any longer, a strong influence on the government to prevent the fragmentation of the neurological and neurosurgical services. Indeed, I never gave much thought to the fact, that such a fragmentation would be a serious handicap for the ability to maintain a strong and vigorous department, but this came clearly to the fore. The practice dwindled quite significantly, and I had already been a "reluctant surgeon", because I never glorified the practice of cutting into a human being, except as a last resort. I was always sceptical about what could really be accomplished with these rather extravagant surgical procedures, and I always prided myself in being just as good a neurologist, or diagnostician, as a surgeon. Besides, the training at the MNI was still so much geared towards "seizure surgery", that many of the more "bread and butter" neurosurgical procedures were somewhat neglected, and I found myself without the ability to do seizure surgery, while not all that familiar with, or eager to carry-out, those surgical procedures that would "bring-in the money".
8 Certainly, I had no
difficulties "making a living", but, slowly, my actual surgical
practice declined significantly. Perhaps, this was one of the main reasons for
the growing sense of tiredness and frustration that set-in after six or seven
years of practice in Saint-John. I started to think about a change, and I
wanted to start with a "break"; a sabbatical of a year, to allow me
to rethink my career. Fortunately, we had adopted and practiced a frugal
lifestyle all these years in
9 Therefore, it became quite
feasible to take a year off and live on our savings, while pondering what to
do. We had never experienced a period of relaxation and easy living, and we
embarked on a bold experiment with a frugal, near self-sufficient lifestyle in
the country site. We were able to sell our home in one of the suburbs of
10 These ideas were, and perhaps
still are, quite popular, as many "yuppies" or young, urban
professionals, were doing the same thing. However, in contrast with many other
professional occupations, it was impossible for a clinician to "work"
from the country-site. I gave-up my practice, therefore, after I notified the
hospital that I was taking a leave of absence for a year, and the hospital
administrator attracted another neurosurgeon to take my place. This meant,
however, that I had no further income from a medical practice, and it is not
surprising that my colleagues shook their heads in disbelief. Here I was; still
young, with the highest qualifications of the land in my specialty, and still with
young children, and I was disappearing to a modest home somewhere in the
country; growing vegetables and keeping milking goats, living like a poor
subsistance farmer, while foregoing the easy income associated with a
medicare-paid system of health-care.
11 However, I needed a break and my
wife realised this. She knew that I would probably get sick from some sort of
stress-related illness, because of the high level of frustration and anxiety
that had set-in over the last few years of my medical practice. Indeed, I had
become acutely aware of the fact that I knew nothing about the "outside
world". I had "conquered", in a sense, the world of medicine. I
had a good job and could easily make a living and nothing would have been more
natural than to settle into a "comfortable routine", but, I was
restless and I wanted to know more. I wanted time to think and reflect; to
study and become more familiar with the numerous aspects of life that were
outside the field of medicine. I also became aware of the fact, that stress
caused so many symptoms and illnesses in people, because I saw scores of people
whose complaints would superficially suggest a neurological illness, but which
were, in essence, caused by stress and frustration, just as I was beginning to
experience within myself.
12 These strands of developments;
the slowly declining real neurosurgical work-load, and the fact that I was
often consulted by other physicians about psychological problems, (because they
had come to realise that I was interested in this field), coupled with the fact
that I had worked hard without a break for more than fifteen years; the
realisation that I knew so little about life outside the hospital and the world
of medicine; all these factors contributed to an intense desire to take some
time off; to give vent to my reflective tendencies, and to take-up residence in
the country-site.
13 Indeed, primarily as a result of
the need to cope with the rising level of frustration and even a measure of
confusion, and, because of the need to cope with my increasingly critical
attitudes towards everything around me, I began to write. This had a remarkably
therapeutic effect, because it allowed my to learn to express my criticisms and
anxieties. Slowly, but surely, I taught myself to write. After all, I had
taught myself, in essence, everything I knew or had done before, so it was not
all that difficult to practice writing and to keep looking at what I was
putting down on paper.
14 Here, I have sketched, I hope, a
somewhat plausible series of events leading to the transition of a medical and
surgical practitioner in the specialties of neurology and neurosurgery, to the
"yuppie", who began to live a frugal but comfortable and uneventful
lifestyle in the country-site; far-away from the politics of medicine, but
also, isolated and divorced from any academic contacts or outlets for the
writings that were coming into being.
.......
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Chapter 5
A look at the woman who consented to be my wife.
A versatile, hard-working and capable personality.
The remarkable power of a competent, frugal and intelligent lifestyle.
The boat.
I taught myself how to sail and navigate.
I maintained the boat myself.
A permanent mooring along the ice-free coast of the
The boat became a gateway to the world outside medicine.
How we prepared ourselves for a possible early retirement.
My wife's energy and versatility were the key to our success.
The costs of living were reduced to a fraction of what they were before.
We realised that it is impossible to live-off a small piece of land without
making use of a modest steady income.
1 While I was working hard to
secure my diplomas and open-up the possibility to make a living with my chosen
profession, my wife was working just as hard, or even harder, to make our goals
possible. She was certainly more versatile than I, because she had to make do
with a very small income. She managed the family finances from the beginning,
and made sure that the bills were paid on time. She was, and still is, a good seam-stress,
and this made it possible to dress herself and the children very nicely without
having to spend a fortune. She made all her clothes, as well as the children's
clothes, and the kids looked great. She was, and still is more frugal than I;
partly as a result of childhood experiences, because we had literally nothing,
having gone through World War II. While I spent the war years in Indonesia, in
a concentration camp for women and children, my wife went, as a young child,
through the experience of warfare in Holland, (the "hunger winter" in
Rotterdam), and we both shared the experience of having impoverished parents,
who had to work hard and live frugally in order to give their children a chance
to grow-up with an education.
2 We always were able to feed
ourselves and the children adequately, and, as I mentioned, the kids always
looked well-dressed. Probably, we lived all these years of training below the
officially accepted poverty-line, but we never felt poor. We were in good
health, and after I obtained my Enabling Certificate, I knew, that I always
could start looking for a job in general practice; if it became impossible to
continue with my specialty training. When I started private practice in
3 The boat was one way of
exploring a measure of contact with the world outside the field of medicine and
the hospital. Indeed, the boat was not really a relaxation for me, because I
never had been exposed to boating, except a few times in
4 However, I had prepared myself
well. I had read for years a number of boating magazines, including one from
5 Also, it took quite a bit of
work to get everything "ready" for a week-end on the boat, and,
therefore, for the first time in our married life, we parted somewhat in our
interests and activities. Most of the time, I would be pottering around with
the boat alone, on my week-ends off, while my wife and children preferred to
stay home in the spacious surroundings of the property we had bought in one of
the suburbs of Saint John. I made a deliberate attempt to do all the
maintenance work myself, because I wanted to learn and to reduce costs as much
as possible. This is the reason, why I looked for a permanent mooring along the
ice-free coast of the Bay of Fundy, rather than have the boat hauled-out every
fall, because the Saint John river, as well as the Kennebecasis, (a branch of
the Saint John river), would freeze-up every winter.
6 In spite of the fact that I was
often tense and somewhat worried when I handled the boat and navigated, nearly
always alone, on the foggy Bay of Fundy, I enjoyed it immensely, and I also
became much more practical, as I learned to concern myself with mechanisms of
cause and effect, which were completely different from the events I encountered
during my medical studies and practice. Indeed, the boat became a gateway to
the world outside the fields of medicine and the life-sciences. I learned
something about navigation and electronics, and, eventually, I installed a
small radar unit, in order to navigate a little more safely through the thick
fog that is such a common feature in our area during the summer months.
7 Yet, every other week-end was
not much, and I was often tired on my week-ends off. Indeed, during the last
two years of my practice I was chronically tired, and I often woke-up with a
splitting head-ache, especially, when I was able to relax on a week-end off,
or, even, whenever there was a momentary relaxation in the problems to be
attended-to in my practice. These headaches were typical for "tension
head-aches", and I knew that I needed a break.
8 When I began my sabbatical year
in August of 1976, I enjoyed immensely a period of a few months in a row, when
I could enjoy the uninterrupted "pottering around" on the boat, but
soon, we realised, that we should move to a less expensive environment. Indeed,
if we were to create, at least, the chance for ourselves to stay-out
permanently and retire early, we needed the proceeds of the property we had bought,
and which had been completely paid-for, in order to buy a much more economical
property in the country-site, and use the interests of our savings to live
from.
9 We were indeed able to sell the
property quite well and buy a property in the country site that was rather
dilapidated, but still good enough to fix-up and live-in; at least for a number
of years. This we did, and now my practical skills were tested even more, as my
wife and I tackled the problems of renovating an old house. I even build a brick-chimney,
after a friend showed me the bare essentials of how to go about it. In short,
this experiment with living a frugal and near self-sufficient lifestyle
"worked", because we put a great deal of effort in learning about
everything under the sun, and doing the work ourselves.
10 We even experimented with a
vegetable garden, and one of the girls who took very much to this life in the
country, got a milking goat; (more or less given to her by a neighbour who did
not want to bother any longer). We fixed-up a little barn, had her bred, and
soon, we were in the business of milking and using the milk for cooking, baking
as well as drinking. We did this for a number of years, but, as the children
grew-up and left home, we had too much milk for our own consumption and the
chores of baking bread and making cheese became somewhat cumbersome. We
accumulated rather large supplies of milk and cheese which we had to give away
or consume at an accelerated rate, because it was illegal to sell these
products without proper government licencing. We even had hens for a while, and
the surplus eggs were sold easily, but also, somewhat illegally, I suspect. In
short; this experiment worked quite well, but I should never forget that my
wife was the driving force behind all this activity. She was tireless in
tackling all the extra chores associated with such a lifestyle, and she was
still able to sew for herself and the children, and, even, for people who came
to know her sewing skills, as well as her skills in all sorts of handi-crafts;
e.g. knitting and crocheting.
11 She even got into upholstering and her activities were the key to our success. Not only, was she able to keep all the necessary household chores going, but she continued the frugal and money-saving practices of sewing her own clothes, as well as the clothes of our daughters, who were now growing-up and leaving home, one by one; but, she also brought-in a little bit of extra money by sewing, knitting and upholstering for other people. One of my daughters and myself were involved with the chores of milking and looking after the goats, but my wife was primarily in charge of looking after the vegetable garden. We learned a great deal from this experiment with a frugal lifestyle. We learned that it was indeed possible, with hard work, good organisation, and plenty of self-discipline, to do a lot of chores for oneself, which are, of course, much easier "farmed out" to someone who is making a living with these activities. Yet, we saved a great deal of money by doing things for ourselves; by repairing everything in the home, and, I also learned, quickly, to maintain the family car myself. Even small repairs I could do, but the larger repairs which require special equipment were just not worth tackling, primarily, because of the lay-out for such special and expensive equipment.
12 By and large, we were able to
reduce the costs of living to a fraction of what it took to run the house-hold
in Saint John, but, it took a great deal of time and effort, and a constant
resistance to the temptation to call-upon someone else, and pay for the work
that had to be done. Besides, we also learned that there is always a
significant residue of items and services which we could not produce for
ourselves, and some repairs and purchases had to be paid-for; if we did not
want to fall into a life of poverty and subsistence. Indeed, the great
difference between poverty and a lifestyle of near self-sufficiency lies in the
fact that the latter is voluntary. We always could get help, if we needed it.
We always could buy what we needed or wanted, and we could get the car repaired
and maintain it in good condition; even, if we had to pay for these services,
from time to time; by going to a well-equipped service center and have a major
repair carried-out.
13 Indeed, it became quite clear to
us, from an early stage in our experiment with a frugal lifestyle in the
country-site, that it is impossible to live off a small piece of land without
making use of some steady income. After all, we had only a few acres of land
around the home we had bought in the country-site. The supply of cash does not
have to be large, but there has to be some. Tools and other supplies have to be
bought, and, even our food-supply could not come entirely from a garden, even,
if we had a plentiful supply of vegetables and a staple food like potatoes. We
still needed flour, sugar, tea and coffee, as well as countless other products
to round-off a reasonable diet. Certainly, we had plenty of diary products, but
goat milk is rather strong, and, from time to time, one wants to eat something
else. We had goat-meat for years in the freezer, because we slaughtered some of
the surplus males several years in a row. However, I detested the chore of
shooting these friendly and unsuspecting animals, and the necessity of doing
away with suplus males was one of the reasons why we eventually got out of
"keeping goats"; in addition to the fact that we were getting more
dairy products than we could handle.
14 As the family got smaller, my
wife, Diny, got slowly more involved with sewing and upholstering for other
people. I helped her, from time to time, with the heaviest work of upholstering
old furniture, but, by and large, she wanted to do this on her own. However,
after a number of years, she developed a chronic pain in her arms and
shoulders, which was indeed related to a chronic stress from handling the heavy
pieces of furniture as well as the pulling that was necessary to stretch new
fabric over the backs and seats of these pieces of furniture. Eventually, she
had to give-up the work of upholstering furniture, but she continued to sew and
was branching-out, increasingly, into dress-making for special occasions, e.g.,
weddings and graduation gowns. She became also experienced in all sorts of difficult
alteration work, and the "business" grew quickly into a near
full-time job. However, it also became quite clear, that, in order to remain
competitive with the price of new clothing, she could only charge a near
minimum wage for her time, and once again, we realised, how important it was to
be able to work with a minimum of overhead and other expenses.
.......
Chapter 6
It became clear that a seamstress could not hope to make a living without
additional financial income.
We were living debt-free.
Keeping fixed costs at an absolute minimum.
Keeping the boat without any regular expenses.
Every year we could put a small surplus back into Canada Savings Bonds.
An all-important cushion of "slowly increasing savings".
Learning how to maintain a car.
At the time of retirement I converted my RRSP into a small annuity.
How we invested in "land".
Here we are, living in a beautiful home.
How we built our new home.
The experience and thought that went into the design and building of this home.
Throughout the years we have been in complete control over the way we lived.
I made good use of the "computer revolution" for my writing.
1 It became also crystal clear,
that a seamstress could not hope to make a living without additional resources.
Because we did not have any fixed expenses, such as a mortgage, debts or other
payments, and, since our costs were primarily a result of the fact that we
consumed electricity, had a telephone, used some wood and electric heat during
the winter, and had to pay property-taxes, the costs of living were not high.
Anyone, who had to pay rent, be it just for a sewing shop, or, pay rent for a
home, or make mortgage payments, would find it very difficult to make ends meet
with a job that brings in only meagre revenues. Indeed, we see, here, the
common problem of the "working poor", where many jobs are only paying
a minimum wage, because a higher remuneration for the work would not be
commercially viable. These experiences also showed us how important it was to always
keep fixed costs at an absolute minimum. In essence, the frugal,
self-sufficient lifestyle in the country-site is based on a trade-off between
time and effort on the one hand, and, the ability to save on the expense of
having other people do the work for you.
2 Indeed, the urban, and,
especially, the sub-urban lifestyle of the professional has to rely heavily on
services provided by other people, and, because the professional has hardly the
time to supervise what is being done, he is often taken for a ride, and
finds-out, at the end of the year, that a large portion of his income has been
spent on all sorts of activities and expenses that have a tendency to assume
quickly the quality of "being a necessity". I was able to keep the
boat without any regular expenses, such as fees for a yacht-club or the annual
costs of hauling-out, because of the fact that I put-down a mooring myself in a
secluded spot behind the break-water that shields the harbour of our village
against the breakers of the sea. I would beach the boat once a year to scrub
off the marine growth and paint the bottom with anti-fouling paint. I did all
the repairs myself, and once, I hauled-out the engine, put it in my truck, with
the help of a tackle, and brought the engine for a major overhaul to a diesel
repair-shop. Later, I picked-up the engine and installed it again, without
incurring any expenses other than the parts and labour necessary for the
overhaul.
3 As a result of our deliberately
frugal way of life, we were able to live well within our means, and, every
year, it was possible to put a surplus of money back into the Canada Savings
Bonds, which were always the mainstay of our capital assets. Yet, when I took
my sabbatical, (which eventually grew into a permanent early retirement),
inflation was high, but so were interest rates, and, because of the fact that
we already had all the major items paid-for, we were never saddled with debt
repayments and high interest charges, and we were enjoying a reasonable return
on our savings-bonds. The practice of not living to the maximum of our
spendable income provided this all-important cushion of "slowly increasing
savings", which was necessary to compensate for the effects of inflation
and rapidly rising prices. In spite of the fact that we owned, outright,
everything we were making use of, replacements, and, even, taxes, had a habit
of creeping-up, continuously, during these years of inflation which
characterised the seventies.
4 We did well. We could even
afford a new car, once in a while, or, at least, a newer car; primarily,
because I was getting better at maintaining these vehicles. I experimented with
different techniques of preventing rust from eating-up the metal bodies, and I
have now two cars, both diesels, which I bought new in '82 and '85 respectively.
These cars are still on the road and give me excellent service. Certainly, it
still costs money to keep them on the road, because the insurance costs have
skyrocketed during the last few years; labour costs in garages have risen
steeply, and parts have always been rather expensive. However, the costs of
replacing a car every few years have skyrocketed even more, and it is
remarkable that the "new Beetle", the Volkswagen that came out a year
or so ago, sells for ten times the price I paid for the last Beetle I bought in
'72. Certainly, we are dealing with an entirely different car, in spite of the
superficial resemblance in appearance. Nevertheless, a rise of ten times is
quite steep. No-one's salaries has risen that steeply, and it is not surprising
that people are hanging-on to their cars much longer than they used to, back in
the seventies.
5 When I decided, (in conjunction
with my wife, of course), to make the sabbatical more or less permanent, I also
converted the savings that had been placed in a registered retirement savings
fund, into an annuity. I was able to make good use of the fact that the annuity
rates were quite high as a result of the high interest rates being charged in
those inflation-ridden times. The monthly payment of this annuity was quite
low, but it provided an important basis of cash for our most urgent needs.
Because this high rate of return was locked-in for life, we have benefitted
from this high yield ever since; especially, when the interests rates slumped
to unprecedented lows in recent years because of the fact that inflation has
been under control for years, and governments, in general, have carried-out a
much more responsible and fiscally tight monetary policy.
6 We are now feeling the
"pinch" of a much lower rate of return on our savings, as the yield
has dropped over a decade or so from a high of about ten percent per year to
not more than about four percent. Fortunately, our foresight to enlarge the
capital base of our savings has been able to compensate, to some extent, for
the loss of interest income from these savings.
7 I should also mention that we
invested a significant part of our original savings, (which came
"free" as a result of selling our home in Saint John and buying a
modest property in the country-site), in "land". This land was
tied-up in "heirship", or a complex ownership dispute, and this made
it impossible to sell the land. I spend about ten years, off and on, trying to
come to some sort of an agreement with the other share-holders in this property.
We, my wife and I, (together with another couple we were friends with), had
bought-out two old ladies who owned together seven-eights of the property, but
the remaining one-eight was divided over four people, owning each one
thirty-seconds of the property. I will not bore you with the details how we
eventually straightened-out this ownership problem. Let me just say that this
"gamble", (which was not really a gamble because it was obvious to
anyone with a little bit of foresight that this property had a lot of potential
for the future), paid-off, and has supplemented our financial needs
significantly; especially, when we finally decided to take the bold step of
"scrapping" the house we had lived-in since our retirement, and build
a brand new home, on the same property; making use of the spectacular view this
property is blessed with.
8 Here we are, living in a
beautiful home, designed by my wife and me, and built with the help of just a
few local carpenters, because we were able to do all the sub-contracting
ourselves. My wife had arranged for the purchasing of the windows and the doors
we needed, and I subcontracted the work necessary for the basement, paying a
great deal of attention to the requirements of proper drainage, excellent
protection against frost damage, dryness of the basement; so that it could be
finished and used as a living space. In short, many years of practical
experience with the problems and potential problems of owning an older place
had prepared us very well for the ambitious task of designing a home from the
ground up. This made it possible for us to direct and guide many different
subcontractors; e.g., putting-up cement basement, preparing the site for
building, the plumbing and electrical wiring, as well as arranging for the carpenters
and those who would be supplying the lumber and other building-supplies. All
these coordinating activities, as well as the actual purchasing of the
supplies, we did ourselves, while those who worked for us were essentially paid
by the hour.
9 Certainly, not everything was
done by hiring people by the hour. The basement was done as a specific contract
with an estimate of the total costs, but, once again, I purchased the cement
necessary for pouring the walls, and I hired the firm to carry-out the
site-preparation. This was a major project, because we wanted to build on top
of a hill which had to be dug-off. The rocks were broken-up and provided the
best possible site for building a house, after this crushed rock had been
compacted into a solid foundation by the heavy equipment necessary to carry-out
these preparatory tasks. We were aiming for a home that did not only make
optimum use of the view of this place, looking-out over the Back Bay, (an inlet
of the Bay of Fundy), but we were also getting older. We wanted a place we
could maintain without much effort or costs, even, as the years went by;
because we would inevitably lose some of our abilities and energies to
carry-out the many chores we had been tackling over the years.
10 All these practical experiences
have contributed significantly to the fact that we were always able to maintain
a healthy, sensible and frugal lifestyle, while suffering none of the
disadvantages of true poverty. Throughout these years we have been in complete
control over the way we lived. We could always afford to buy, or do what needed
to be done, without having to go into debt, and we had saved-up enough
"ready cash" to be able to build our new home, now already six years
ago, without having to take-out a mortgage. Indeed, ever since my early
retirement, and, even earlier, (as soon as we had paid-off the mortgage on our
home in
11 If everyone would live like we
have lived most of our lives, the "economy" would have collapsed a
long time ago, because people would just not spend their meagre earnings and
income on anything else but the basic necessities, and yet, I am convinced that
such a near self-sufficient, frugal and sensible lifestyle, with complete
control over our time and spending, is essential for a sense of genuine satisfaction,
as well as a good state of health. Certainly, we have lived outside the
mainstream of an affluent society, but, whenever it became clear that a
specific technological development would contribute significantly to our
lifestyle, we had no hesitation to make use of it. I will describe in the next
chapter how my writing evolved from "writing-out" my thoughts in
long-hand, to typing on the electric typewriter which my wife already used when
I was still in practice. Then, in '83 I bought my first computer, an Atari,
used exclusively as a word-processor. I used this computer every day for ten
years, and I still have this machine, because it is still perfectly functional.
However, I bought a new machine, a 486dx-33V in '93, the same year we build our
new home, and I am still using it to sketch my thoughts, and edit and print my
writings.
.......
sa300d
Chapter7
I always think before I write.
It took me years, before I was more or less satisfied with my writing.
The Atari, my first word-processor, was a revelation.
From "letter quality" to a "type-set quality" printer.
Electronic publishing; via internet or CD-ROM.
Polishing is still a form of writing.
After I quit work I felt less of a need to go sailing.
I am not really comfortable with very stressful work.
The productive habit of taking care of chores immediately.
I would always plan carefully what I had to do.
1 Pottering around with the boat
and carrying-out the necessary chores associated with a near self-sufficient
and frugal lifestyle was only part of the activities that kept me busy. Indeed,
I remember that, from time to time, a few curious former colleagues would ask
me what I did with my time, since I did not have to work anymore practicing
medicine, and it was obvious that few people in the sub-urban world of
professionals had any idea how much work there would be, if one tried to live a
lifestyle of near self-sufficiency. My main focus of attention always remained
on the self-imposed task of thinking, ordening my thoughts, clarifying my ideas
about the world around me, as well as the nature of my own existence; and, as a
result, I wrote nearly continuously.
2 Certainly, as I mentioned
before, sometimes the accent would fall on sketching an essay. This required a
fair amount of time in order to "gather-up" sufficient ideas; with
sufficient clarity, to let my thoughts flow clearly on paper in the long-hand
writing that I practiced for years. At other times, I would be re-writing,
editing, correcting and re-typing my work, or, at least, parts of the work I
had done. I took me literally years, before I was more or less satisfied with
the way I wrote, and the clarity of my thoughts, but, even so, I never found
anyone who really took an interest in this. Perhaps, rightly so, because, after
all, these writings remained very personal points of views, and were, from the
beginning, couched in such abstract language, with complex thoughts and
sentence constructions, that it remained difficult for any outsider to
"get anything out of it".
3 Yet, slowly but surely, my
writing improved, and, as a result of the remarkable developments of the
personal computer, it also became possible to produce ever "neater" manuscripts.
In 1983 I bought the Atari, which was the first word-processor, but the year
before I rented a "memory type-writer". This was a hybrid between a
computer and a type-writer, providing, for the first time, "editing
capabilities". However, the "window" in which this editing had
to take place was very small; sixteen characters in all, but, it already was
possible to put an entire page "in memory", review it bit by bit, and
then, have the machine "type it out" in one stretch. Then, the next
page would be "composed" in the same manner. The work "
4 The first
"letter-quality" printer I used with the Atari produced nice print,
but, the printing process was very slow. In addition, there was something
wrong, because on just about every page, it would "go to sleep"; meaning,
it would stop functioning for one obscure reason or another, and pause for up
to several minutes. Then, it would suddenly resume where it left-off. Later, I
found out that there was indeed some sort of incompatibility causing it to
shut-off, and a later cartridge for the word-processing program, (which was the
way the Atari was being programmed for word-processing), did indeed by-pass
this problem. However, by that time, I had already worn-out the letter-quality
printer and I switched to a used but very good "daisy-wheel printer".
This was essentially a type-writer, or, at least, a "type-writing printing
mechanism" driven by the computer. The main advantage was the fact, that
all the editing could be done first on the computer, and then, when desired, a
"hard copy" could be printed-out, quickly and neatly; producing a
type-written manuscript without the need to correct any typing errors.
5 This printer worked beautifully
for a number of years, but, in the mean time, the accent of the printer
technology for the personal computer shifted to a totally different process,
based on the photocopier. Indeed, when my daisy-wheel printer developed a
serious problem, it proved too expensive to fix. This was the main reason why I
gave-up the Atari and switched to the computer I am using now. This computer
works in conjunction with a "laser printer" with a
"print-quality" output. Indeed, I have a choice from many different
fonts and font-sizes, but I always use the same font-type for the essays I have
printed-out, but the font-size varies quite a bit. This combination of printer
and computer works beautifully, and, so far, has not given me any serious
problems, but, as I mentioned before, in the mean time, the accent has shifted
to "electronic publishing". Electronic publishing is so much cheaper
compared to a print-out on paper, especially for bulky publications, and the
evolution of the internet has now made it possible to publish, essentially
world-wide, on a shoe-string budget. However, how effective such publishing is,
without making use of sophisticated advertising techniques and a clever
programming of the various "search engines", remains to be seen.
6 I may indeed indulge in an
attempt to publish some of my work electronically; after I have put-together
some sort of extract or "anthology". I think, that it would be futile
to put entire essays "on the internet", without a more specific
introduction to my work. Such an introduction or anthology may have the desired
effect of laying a connection between the world of my thoughts and the thoughts
and interests of potential readers. In the mean time, I have come at the end of
the series of essays I planned many years ago. This is the last essay, the
"Personal Note"; devoted, primarily, to a biographical summary of the
personality your author happened to have become.
7 I have been very content all
these years since my early retirement. Certainly, the fact that I did not find
any response has been somewhat disappointing, but, as I explained before, it
was never really unexpected. I hoped, of course, that these personal musings
would be able to "strike a chord" with similarly inclined reflective
personalities, and this may still be possible, at some time in the future, but
I doubt that I will personally witness a measure of interest in my work. In any
case, I will concentrate the remaining years of my productive life on polishing
my work; on elaborating some of the points that did not come across all that
well, and, as I mentioned before, this type of editing and polishing will give
me plenty of opportunities to "still write", and insert, or change,
some sections, which, in my judgement, do not do justice to the main theme
reflected in the title of an essay.
8 I noticed, almost immediately
after my early retirement, that I felt less of a need to go sailing. Certainly,
there was plenty of other work to do, and my wife still did not want to go on
the water at all; especially, since our retirement-village was situated on the
9 I realised, eventually, that I
would not enjoy a long voyage under sail. After a few hours on the water, in a
stiff breeze and an exciting sail, I was perfectly happy to go back to the
safety of my own mooring and relax. Indeed, I often spent a few nights away
from the mooring, anchored in a sheltered cove, but I never ventured very far
from home. During my years in practice, I would bring the boat every Fall to
its winter-mooring, (in a village very close to the one we eventually settled
into), and, vice versa, I would bring the boat back to its summer mooring, on
the river, during the Spring season. This was, in essence, far enough traveling
with the boat, because it took a great deal of planning to go through the
Reversing Falls in Saint John, at the right moment, and to make use of the
strong tidal currents on the Bay of Fundy to make it to Blacks Harbour, the
winter mooring, within a single day. Especially, when the weather would be
foggy, navigation was a headache and brought an extra degree of tension. I
never had the family with me when I did this.
10 After my early retirement, my
headaches and tensions were largely gone, but still, every time I became upset
over something, I was prone to get a splitting headache, and, indeed, I
recognised, a long time ago, that I was not really comfortable with very
stressful work. I thrived in the relaxed, contemplative atmosphere we
established in our country residence, and I also noted that any distraction;
any problem that had to be taken care of; any thought other than the
concentration on the topic to be discussed in the essay I was working on, would
interfere with my ability to write. Therefore, I got into the very good and
productive habit to immediately take care of any outstanding chores, so that I
could go back to my writing. Besides, the habit of concentrating to the utmost
on what had to be done, and then carry-out the plan of action as efficiently as
possible, had been cultivated during my clinical training. Obviously, the chore
or task of performing an operation requires careful planning, utmost
concentration, and an efficient way of proceeding with the planned procedures,
in order to accomplish the surgical objectives within a reasonable period of
time.
11 Not only, would all the
personnel working in the operating theatre be somewhat unhappy, if a procedure
would take longer than strictly necessary, but the prolonged exposure of a
patient to anaesthetic agents would also be a considerable hazard. Therefore,
there was never time to dawdle; there was no room for mistakes, and a premium
was placed on careful planning and an efficient execution of the plans that had
been made. I have always worked this way, ever since. If I have to do
something, I would think about it for a while; visualise exactly what I have to
do; prepare the various steps I have outlined, and then, if everything is in
place, carry-out the steps and procedures as visualised. This has always
allowed me to accomplish something reasonably quickly, and rarely, if ever,
would I be caught by a complete surprise. Certainly, from time to time, I would
come to the conclusion that I underestimated a task or objective, and, indeed,
I am convinced that over-confidence, (the "routine aspects" that come
to the fore after having completed a task a few times in a row, together with a
momentary lack of concentration on all the available details), are the most
likely causes for such an "unpleasant surprise"; when a task
turns-out to be more complicated as a result of having failed to foresee, in
detail, a particular obstacle or difficulty.
12 In sharp contrast with my
piano-playing, I never became bogged-down in the unproductive habit of trying
and trying again, without analysing, in detail, the failures that had
characterised my previous attempts. Certainly, there will undoubtedly be people
who will point to the same effect of this large number of essentially similar
essays, and come to the conclusion, that I wasted, once again, a gigantic
amount of time and effort by producing something that was basically flawed and
never had the potential of being of any use to others.
13 Whatever the future judgement
will be for my writing, the main difference between my piano playing and my
writing lies in the fact, that it was obvious and clear what the outcome of my
efforts on the piano should be; nl., the ability to play a difficult composition
with complete technical mastery, so that the musical ideas can come easily and
effortlessly to the fore. In writing my essays, I was essentially trying to put
order on my thoughts, and excercise the expression of my thoughts and ideas.
Here, there was no clear-cut end-result by which the outcome of these writings
should be judged, but I believe that I succeeded in producing a fluent,
seemingly effortless flow for the expression of my thoughts and ideas.
.......
Chapter 8
Why it is unlikely that there would not be any audience at all for these
essays.
I wrote primarily, because it was "good therapy".
I never write, if it is not going well.
Pre-occupation with a problem suppresses any desire to write.
I relax primarily by listening to my classical records.
I never really enjoyed my own piano-playing.
We are opinionated people and like to keep our distance.
A look at our religious background.
I am only concerned with the logic and coherence of the countless tid-bits of
information that are already available.
We never short-changed anyone with our lifestyle
1 If, for one reason or another,
these writings remain totally irrelevant for everyone else, then, of course,
there would be no value in them, and the chances of someone experiencing a
"flash of recognition" would be minimal. However, as I have argued
before, it is unlikely that my thoughts and ideas, my personality with all its
evaluations, judgements and conclusions, would be so "out of the
ordinary", that no-one else would recognise any similarity with his or her
own thoughts and ideas. Certainly, it is quite likely, or, actually, it is
quite certain, that these essays and ideas are only able to appeal to a small
segment of the population, because it requires a rather highly developed ability
to think reflectively, in order to follow the gist of these discussions, but,
it is unlikely, that there would be absolutely nobody who is willing to have a
good look at these efforts.
2 Some people will consider this
large number of reflective essays as a sign of an extremely introvert and vain
personality; a sign of one gigantic "ego-trip". However, anyone
writing with the idea to "make an impression", or, to gain
recognition as a writer or a thinker, would have given-up a long time ago; when
it became clear that no publisher had any inclination of even considering
bringing some of these works into print. No, I wrote, primarily, because it was
"good therapy"; it helped me to orden my thoughts and calm the
restlessness and frustrations that characterised the last few years before
retirement. I wrote, because I liked to write; it gave me a sense of
satisfaction, in spite of the fact that I would always experience a sense of
foreboding, whenever I would return to some of my writings; after it had laid
dormant; either, as a manuscript on the shelf, and later, as a file on a
computer disk.
3 I always "feared", at
least to some extent, that I would be discouraged, or, even, disgusted with
what I wrote before, but, fortunately, this has rarely been the case. If I
restrain myself from writing when I have really nothing to say; or, when I am
not able to concentrate properly on my writing, I prevent a lot of
"garbage" from being written-down, because any confused or unfocussed
piece of writing will have to be re-written or revised to such an extent, that
it is less work to start from scratch. Therefore, I never write if I feel that
it is not going well. If I feel that I have insufficient "material"
in my head to sketch a chapter, I will not even start, and, because I am not in
a hurry, (and no-one is waiting or looking over my shoulders what I am doing),
I am able to follow a very relaxed routine. Interestingly, I have noticed, for
a long time, now, that I become anxious to start writing again, after I have
not opened the computer for a few days in a row.
4 Certainly, if I am pre-occupied
with a project that requires more than just a few hours to accomplish, my
writing urge will be suppressed, perhaps, even, for a couple of weeks, but this
is unusual. Only during the height of the summer we are likely to have guests,
family-members, staying with us for a few weeks at the time, and, as a rule, I
do not write during this period. At least, I do not engage in sketching new
material, but it is relatively easy to work at reviewing or editing previously
sketched material. However, even here, it takes a fair amount of concentration,
and I have to be essentially unburdened by any other concerns, chores or tasks,
before the work of editing is proceeding satisfactorily.
5 What happened to my
piano-playing? I took the study of the piano up again during various phases of
my life. I studied quite seriously and reasonably effectively, during my
student years in
6 Indeed, listening to my classical
records has always been the primary source for relaxation. Often, I would fall
asleep, and later, especially, after early retirement, I would use a period of
listening to classical music also as a means to orden my thoughts. Therefore, I
would not always be following intently the musical composition I was listening
to, but, certainly during my younger years, when I was still harbouring dreams
and ambitions about becoming a professional pianist, the listening would always
be very intent. We bought a used piano during the later years of our stay in
7 I never really enjoyed my own
playing, because I was always conscious of the serious limitations associated
with my playing. From time to time, I was able to study well and make some
progress that was to my satisfaction. I remember the later stages of my stay in
the sanatorium in
8 When we moved to the country-site,
in the
9 Slowly but surely, I was
sliding into an increasingly introvert and isolated lifestyle. Contact with my colleagues
became quickly somewhat irrelevant, because we were living such different
lifestyles. For a number of years we had good contacts with a couple of close
friends; people who had adopted more or less the same lifestyle, and were also,
in one way or another, young urban professionals who preferred to live in the
country-site. However, as the years went by, we became more isolated. This
applies to both of us, in spite of the fact that my wife slowly build-up her
clientele in the sewing business. Contacts remained "business-like",
and we never felt any inclination to maintain our social contacts; especially,
after the couple with whom we had the most contact, rather suddenly separated
and moved-away. Besides, the children were growing-up and finding their own way
through life. We remained, in essence, very critical, self-reliant people, who
would disagree with almost everything and everybody. Undoubtedly, I was, and
still am more critical than my wife, but we both are very opinionated people
who like to keep our distance.
10 Certainly, we can get-along
quite well with other people, at least, superficially, but we never developed
any desire to become a member of the various clubs and other centers of social
activities where most people like to belong to. We never joined a Church,
because we had, in essence, abandoned the cultural and religious traditions we
grew-up with. My wife was born Catholic, (coming from the Southern part of the
Netherlands which is predominantly Catholic), but, as a result of the fact that
she was forced to attend Church so much and so often as a child, she developed
a life-long aversion and never attended Church with any measure of enthousiasm
at a later age. I was raised in an essentially non-religious family. My mother
was a typical "seeker" and introduced me to various religious
groupings, but I always felt a measure of aversion for this. When I met my
wife, I became interested in the Catholic religion; without any pressure being
exerted by her or her family, who were, by then, already drifting-away from the
Catholic Faith.
11 In contrast with the rather
vague and disorganised thinking behind the various religious denominations I
had come into contact with throughout the years, I liked the coherent views of
Catholicism. I was baptised and practiced the religion for a number of years,
but, on arrival in Montreal, we had the misfortune of encountering an extremely
poor example of religious practice, because the parish priest was obsessed with
the need to pay for an expensive piece of electronic equipment he had installed
in his Church; a system of "simultaneous translation", modeled on the
United Nations. As a result, all we heard, week after week, was a blunt,
coercive admonition to pay more into the collection box. This irritated me to
such an extent, that, one week, I walked-out with the kids I had with me in the
middle of the sermon, as the priest was rambling-on, once again, about the need
for more money. I never went back to Church since, as my thoughts and ideas
were now increasingly shaped by the scientific evidence for the theories of
natural evolution, as well as the fascinating mechanisms of the biological and
neurological systems I was becoming more familiar with during my stay at the
Montreal Neurological Institute.
12 As a reader of my essays, you
will have become aware of the central role these concepts and ideas about
natural evolution have played in my thinking. Indeed, the sciences I came into
contact with, (first during my studies in Holland at the university of Utrecht,
and later, the fascinating neurological sciences together with the many
branches that touch upon these fields of knowledge and expertise), gave me a
strong sense of relevance, and I became ever more interested in forging a
coherent imagery about the nature of our own existence; especially, the nature
of our reality-perceptions. These ideas have been discussed extensively in the
large series of essays that has now come to an end. I honestly believe that
many of these thoughts and ideas are viable; that they have the potential of
contributing to the insights and perceptions of others. Certainly, I am not
contributing one iota of "new information", because I always make use
of facts, observations, images and ideas that have already been brought to the
fore by others. My self-imposed task of thinking and writing about these many
wide-ranging concerns is purely concerned with the logic and cohesion of the
countless tid-bits of information that have already become available.
13 Even, if I do not see any evidence,
from now until the time I am dying, that these essays are of any use to anyone
else, I still feel, that it was worthwhile to devote all this time and
attention to writing and polishing them. Even, if they will always remain
"just a curiosity", without making any contribution to the thoughts
and perceptions of other people, the time I spent writing and rewriting these
essays did not do any harm to anyone else; it did not consume any amount of
natural resources, and I certainly never short-changed anyone else with my
decision to devote a significant part of my life to these "studies in
thought".
.......
sa300e
Chapter 9
A short biographical sketch of Diny, my wife.
How we got to know each other.
Her qualities were essential for our success in
Our five daughters.
In spite of initial reservations, our children have adopted many, if not most
of our habits and attitudes.
A brief look at the dispute with Audrey.
Why Romey is quite different from the others.
We ran a strict and disciplined household.
1 My wife, Diny, short for
"Huiberdina", was born in 1938 into a poor family of farm labourers
in the South of Holland, and, she too, had a rather turbulent youth as a result
of the War from 1940 to 1945. While my parents were in Indonesia, or, rather,
the Dutch East Indies as it was called then, Diny and her family spent most of
the time in the village she was born, except for the last and most severe
winter of the war-period, which was spent in Rotterdam because of the fact that
her father had found employment there as a policeman. He was one of the first
members of the family to have a little more education and became eventually a
professional trumpet player in the "police harmony", which was the
equivalent of a military band. Later, when many of these "kapells",
or military brass-bands, were disbanded because of the rising costs, he spent
most of his time in the army as an instructor in brass and wind instruments.
2 We met at the home of a common
friend. My best friend of the primary school in Nymegen was the brother of her
best friend during high-school. While my best friend and I did not go to the
same high-school, we always kept contact, and I got to know Diny when there was
a small party thrown for the pupils who had just finished their high-school
curriculum and were entitled, as a result of these obligatory "university
entrance exams", to continue their studies at a university of their
choice. This was the year of '57, while I had graduated from high-school in
'53. Soon after we met we formulated plans to immigrate to
3 She was already sewing and
making all her clothes by the time she was sixteen, and she was able to spend
the little money she earned during the summer vacations extremely frugally.
These qualities were essential for our success in Canda, because she was able
to make-do with the small stipend I was getting as a student, intern or
resident during the ten-year period in which I was able to repeat all the
relevant medical examinations and qualified as a specialist in neurosurgery in
'69. From the beginning she managed the meagre household finances. The girls
always looked like little princesses, because she was able to make all their
clothes. She would always be home, because, after the first few months in
4 We have five daughters, all
born in
5 Romey has been married and
divorced, twice, and has four children. She lives far-away in
6 The fourth daughter, Darlene,
has already completed her PhD and is teaching mathematics and physics in
7 Indeed, we have emphasised to
our children, from the beginning, the need to become independent,
self-sufficient people; able to look after themselves and live within their
means; without falling into the trap of depending on hand-outs of one sort or
another. While they all thought that we had a rather harsh approach to life,
they have come to adopt most of our attitudes and objectives, and we are very
grateful for this, in spite of the fact that our opinions and evaluations
sometimes clashed; especially, when we had a falling-out with Audrey over the
way she brought-up her child. We became very critical of Audrey, who seemed to
be so different. Audrey had a tendency to be dreamy and somewhat lax, and,
because of the fact that she stayed "under our wings" for many years,
as we looked after her girl when she was working, she lagged behind in her
growth towards maturity and independence.
8 We became indeed very critical
and domineering, which was depressing for Audrey, and, eventually, a minor row
developed into a serious conflict, when she took Anya suddenly completely away
from us, and broke all bonds. We were very upset and even tried to get access
to Anya through the Courts, but we were denied this on account of the high
level of anger and hostility that had set-in between us and Audrey. We
over-estimated our rights as grand-parents and were denied any right to have
contact with Anya. This was hard, especially for Diny, and it must also have
been very difficult for Anya, who was not yet eight when this happened in
February of '96. However, in retrospect, we should have not been so critical of
Audrey, and she should have moved-away from us much earlier, and learn to live
her own life. Now, she remained rather irrealistic and had a tendency to make
serious mistakes. The break with Audrey was precipitated, when she took Anya
out of school and embarked on a program of home-schooling.
9 This was a disaster, because
she denied her child normal contacts with other children, but Audrey has always
been very possessive of Anya and resented Anya's close contact with us, as well
as with anyone else. Anya was a very outgoing personality, who needed and loved
contact with other people. Our relationship with Anya was indeed completely
different from the relationships we had with our own children. We were older,
now, and we had more time. The atmosphere was far more relaxed than with our
own kids. This led to a subtle friction with our children, as they became
actually somewhat envious of this relationship with Anya; including Audrey.
When Audrey took Anya away from us and moved away, physically, (by moving her
trailer which had been set-up on our property), the other children supported
Audrey's move and criticised us, except Romey. Romey had gone through a
custody-fight over her oldest child with her first husband and his family, and
she was the only one who understood Diny's sorrow when Anya was suddenly
taken-away from her care.
10 There are some signs, now, that
this period of separation is coming to an end. Diny has been extremely
depressed as a result of this separation from Anya, and she has lost all
confidence and trust in her children. She feels that all those years of looking
after them and providing a stable home have not been appreciated, and she has
become rather resentful towards her daughters, except Romey.
11 Ironically, Romey was for many
years the furthest removed from us, because she broke-away from us soon after
she finished high-school, and for many years we had only superficial contacts
with her. However, when she became embroiled in a custody fight over her oldest
daughter, she sought our advise and, gradually, contact was re-established. We
have seen all our children move substantially closer to the attitudes and
practices we have adopted ourselves. They all have seen the value of an ordened
and disciplined lifestyle. They all are responsible parents and are doing their
best for their children. None of them have become hooked on dangerous habits,
such as smoking and drinking, drug addiction or gambling, but, they are not as
frugal and efficient as Diny.
12 Certainly, in spite of the
strict and somewhat authoritarian attitudes that prevailed in our family, all
our children have had a far easier youth compared to Diny and I, and, even, if
we never spoiled our children materially, or with a lax and undisciplined
lifestyle, their security and stability was far greater than our own childhood.
Therefore, we never felt sorry for them, even, if they complained, from time to
time, about the fact that they were not allowed the same freedoms as youngsters
around them. Now, they are just as disciplined and cautious about their own
youngsters, because they have seen how easy it is for youngsters to go astray.
Indeed, from this point of view, it is more difficult compared to our own
youth, because the post-war era in
.......
Chapter 10
Why native Canadians have been spoiled by a long period of easy and affluent
living conditions.
Why youngsters growing-up in a European middle-class had a harder time.
A brief look at European and North-American history.
Anya.
Fortunately, the experiment with home-schooling lasted only two years.
The break with Ingrid.
We have now a working relationships with all our children.
We have become "poor travelers".
Our children are hard-working and responsible people, even if we do not agree
with everything they do.
Neither one of us is a "bundle of joy", but, we are essentially
content and grateful people.
1 Certainly, Diny and I were
probably significantly "out of step" with a generation of parents
that had never really suffered from the War and had never learned the value of
a frugal and disciplined lifestyle. While we were keeping a close rein on our
youngsters, others let their youngsters do as they pleased. In contrast with
the middle-class social environments that were so prevalent in post-war Europe,
(when it was being rebuilt after a devastating period of occupation and
warfare), contemporaries of ourselves, who always lived on this Continent, had
none of the same childhood experiences; nor were they exposed to the same need
for obtaining a thorough education and making something of themselves. Here, in
2 As a result, it was much easier
for youngsters in this country to live and work, and even enjoy a rather
generous income, without the need to complete a lengthy education, and to
become a proficient professional in a branch of knowledge and expertise.
Indeed, many youngsters, especially the boys, would just take-over the farming
or fishing occupation from their fathers without acquiring any professional
qualifications.
3 They could marry young, or, at least,
they would make a girl pregnant at a young age, and these young people would
then be provided by their parents with nearly all the necessities of having a
home and running a household. They were given a piece of land and they would
build, with the help of family members, a place to live in. They would be able
to find employment in the small family-business, a farm or a fishing operation,
which was often generously subsidised by the state. In short, there was rarely
a compelling reason to complete an education and "become someone",
because it was so easy to find a place to live, make a few dollars and live
well, even, if it was just by cutting wood.
4 In contrast, it was not so easy
in
5 Certainly, many people
living in the cities in
6 Our experiences in
7 The point I want to make, here,
is the fact, that, just like so many other immigrant families, the rapid
changes in circumstances and lifestyle contributed to a significant
"generation gap", which also plagued, at least to some extent, our
family. However, our children have now grown-up and, by and large, settled into
a lifestyle and work-environment where they are able to function as responsible
citizens. None of them are likely to "become rich", but, then,
neither did we. I was never interested in maximizing my earnings-potential,
because money did not mean anything. I did not have to measure success in the
amount of money I made, and we were always content with a foundation of
financial security that would allow us a dignified, unobtrusive and care-free
old-age; where we could continue to live as we always have; independent,
according to our own insights, without regard for the habits or fashionable
opinions of other people. We set our own priorities, and we always looked at
the long-term consequences of everything we planned or considered, and, by and
large, we have come for few surprises.
8 We all have been blessed with a
reasonably good constitution; free from any serious genetic defects. Certainly,
we all have our problems and we all have to cope with an illness from time to
time, but, fortunately, none of our children, nor any of the grand-children,
are handicapped in one way or another. Our grand-children should also be able
to become healthy, contributing citizens, in spite of the fact, that they all
will have to learn, from scratch, or, rather, from their own experiences, in
order to validate the examples, admonitions and directives they received from
their parents. I never developed the same level of resentment against our
children as Diny, as a result of the dispute that arose, now already about
three and a half years ago. I hope that Diny will be able to overcome some of
the bitterness that has set-in after she was denied, so suddenly and cruelly,
contact with Anya.
9 We both took to Anya a great
deal; more so, than to any of the other grand-children. The reasons are simple.
Anya needed us, because her mother was often working all hours of the day. As a
nurse Audrey would often have different shifts, and, later, when Audrey became
somewhat depressed and slovenly, we felt even more sorry for Anya; especially,
when she was denied normal contacts at school, and was locked-up in her room
for many hours at a stretch, as Audrey desperately tried to make a success of
an experiment we were so dead against.
10 Fortunately, this experiment
with home-schooling lasted only two years, and Anya did not lose a year when
she went back into the school system. Anya seems to be doing all-right at the
present time, and I hope that the relationship between Audrey and us, and, of
course, Anya and us, will be "normalised" in the near future; as
Audrey learns to overcome her fear of losing Anya once again to us. Indeed, the
primary motivation for Audrey to take Anya away from us was the fact, that she
was losing Anya to us. Audrey was tense, depressed, and, during the last few
years before the break, failed to take good care of Anya, who was coming ever
more frequently to Diny for help and advise. After she moved away, Audrey
finally learned to stand on her own feet, and, in spite of the mistakes she
undoubtedly made, Anya and Audrey seem to have survived and have benefitted
from being away from our constant influence and criticisms. We did not realise
at the time that Audrey was getting depressed as a result of our increasingly
critical attitudes, because we were getting often exasperated with her.
11 Audrey should have become more
independent years ago, and we would probably never have had such a blow-up, but
then, we would never have formed the bonds with Anya as we did. It was
difficult, and still, our children only partly appreciate the fact, that the
circumstances led to such a strong bond between Anya and us, while we saw our
other grand-children only from time to time. Ingrid was a full-time home-maker
and had relatively little contact with us, because she broke-away and lived
with her future husband against our advise. Therefore, we did not get to see
her and her children much, because she never needed someone to baby-sit them.
However, as a result, we are not very close to them, nor are they close to us,
and even the relationship with Ingrid is not very close. She has broken-away
from her useless husband, who is a typical example of the lax, undisciplined
and exploitative attitudes that are so prevalent; whenever parents lack the
common-sense of insisting that their youngsters become independent; make
something of themselves, and complete at least a rudimentary education.
12 Ingrid finally realised how poor her lifestyle was; how ignorant her husband was, and how badly he treated her. She is now a proudly independent individual, able to hold-down a job, even, if it does not pay much. She is in the process of getting a divorce settlement, even, if there are few assets to divide. She has come to recognise that our reservations about the man she moved-in with, and eventually married, were justified, but she still resents, at least to some extent, the fact that we are not close to her boys, and that Diny does not want to baby-sit them. After all, Diny has her clientele and gets frequently people on the door, especially, in the afternoon, which would be the time that Ingrid's children would be here, after school. Her husband is at least anxious to keep contact with the children, and, Ingrid and her husband have found a way of working together, and share the care for their children. Hopefully, the rest of the divorce settlement will be amicable as well, without the need to go through an expensive court procedure.
13 The other children also realise,
now, better than before, why we were so focussed on Anya. We have done our best
to get a bit more contact with the other grand-children, even, if we see them only
from time to time, and, often, not even every year.
14 However, another main reason is the fact that we have become "poor travelers". We hate the dense traffic in the big cities; we do not like flying, and we want to be home, in our own environment. Diny is still disappointed and resentful about what happened, but I am by and large able to acknowledge that these events were bound to happen, considering the circumstances and conditions that had sprung-up. I am satisfied that our daughters have now all become capable and independent people, with a good sense of duty and responsibility, and, I know that they are doing a reasonably good job for their own offspring, in spite of the fact that we do not agree with everything they do. However, they have the right to make their own decisions; after all, they have to live with the circumstances and conditions they are creating for themselves. We belong to a different generation and we are products from a different era. We have done our best, and we have succeeded, by and large, in bringing-up our children to become responsible and hard-working members of society, and they are likely to transmit the same sort of attitudes and directives to their own offspring.
15 Hopefully, Diny's attitudes of anger and resentment against her children is going to subside, and I hope that her spirits are going to lift somewhat. Neither one of us is a "bundle of joy", but, basically, we are content and grateful for the secure and pleasant conditions under which we can spend the "golden afternoon" of our lives.
.......
sa300f
Chapter 11
The attitudes and priorities that have shaped my thoughts and my life.
The link between attitudes and conditions of existence.
A growing awareness that we have the opportunity, and the obligation, to make
something of ourselves.
My personality development is completely logical in view of my childhood
experiences.
I finally learned to work hard and efficiently.
I felt that I started "from scratch" many times.
Scientific images from many different fields began to coalesce.
I have been guided primarily by intuitive insights, rather than a laborious and
systematic documentation of my ideas.
1 This is the last chapter of the
last essay, and I want to conclude my musings with a few words about the
attitudes and priorities that have shaped my thinking and my life. Certainly,
during childhood, we do not really make use of a conscious decision-making
process that sets priorities and determines our outlook on life, because we are
still searching for these important guidance mechanisms, and, we also know,
now, that this search is not conscious or deliberate. However, as we are
getting older and our personalities become more "formed", or
"set", we are making increasingly use of the ability to choose for
ourselves, how we want to react to the circumstances and conditions we are
confronted with, and, what sort of outlook we are going to apply. Nevertheless,
it is perfectly correct to say that this process of applying an increasingly
voluntary choice is often guided by rather simple mechanisms; e.g., the
experience that certain behaviour-patterns have "paid-off", because
they have been encouraged by the social environment, while other choices of
behaviour have been discouraged and are, therefore, less likely to be used as a
means to fulfill our existential needs.
2 Every sensible social
environment will encourage, through example and teaching, a set of
guidance-patterns, attitudes or approaches to life, which become, then, part
and parcel of a conscious and deliberately chosen framework for reacting to the
realities of our existence. For example, a social environment that has come to
value the ability to be strong and decisive; that is capable of resisting the
pressures from competing people or social entities, and is inclined to use its
own vigour and forcefulness to dominate others, will encourage, strongly, the
attitudes of "martiality". This attitude is usually couched in terms
of the ability to be courageous; to withstand adversity, and, even, the ability
to withstand physical discomfort or pain; to be willing and able to engage in
serious combat and risk life and limb for the protection of "the
fatherland", or, at least, the community one belongs to.
3 On the other hand, if a
community has become integrated into a much larger entity of social
organisation, and, if the dominating influence of a competent leadership has
been able to penetrate the cultural codes of the various sub-groupings that
form together such an enlarged entity of social integration, we see a strong
emphasis on the ability to learn and know about each other's beliefs and
lifestyles. We see an emphasis on the ability, and the need, to tolerate people
who are different from ourselves, and, we also see a strong pressure to refrain
from settling disputes by violent means; because the larger, conglomerate
social environment will have developed the necessary institutions to settle
disputes by a process of competent and impartial investigations, capped by the
imposition of a binding settlement and the ability to enforce a judicial
decision.
4 People grow-up with all kinds
of differences in emphasis, as well as differences in the degree of social
integration. If we happen to have been born into a remarkably independent
social environment that considers nearly all outsiders as potential enemies and
a threat to their own existence, the emphasis will be on a rather cautious, or,
even, a fearful approach to contacts with the outside. In our modern world, the
mechanisms of social integration have proceeded to such an extent, that almost
no-one grows-up, any longer, in an environment where there is no need or desire
to have a working relationship with countless other human beings, who fall,
essentially, outside the sphere of the immediate social environment.
5 The point we want to emphasise, here, is the fact, that we all experience an increasing awareness of the need to apply, consciously and deliberately, a number of behavioural choices; where we decide, how we can best fit-in, and obtain the objectives we need to fulfill in order to live a "good life"; to become an accepted member of society; to make a living and live our own lives as we see fit; a life that is being lived in accordance with the ideals and objectives we have set for ourselves. It is logical, therefore, that many youngsters become indeed well aware of the fact, that they have to "make something of themselves"; especially, if they can not rely on the immediate environment for continuing support, or the opportunity to feed-off a family business.
6 I was born into a family
with few ties to a stable community. Just as is the case in our modern society,
most professionals have to go where there is work, and integrating with a group
of like-minded people in the immediate social environment is often difficult or
impossible, as people with many different backgrounds are "thrown
together". My parents were living and working in a Dutch environment in
the Dutch East Indies, or "
7 It is not surprising,
therefore, that my early childhood was characterised by a chronic sense of fear
and uncertainty, and it may well have contributed to a life-long sense of
caution and reflection, but, undoubtedly, the tendency to become introvert, shy
and reflective was largely inborn, but brought-out by the circumstances. My
younger years, and, certainly, the period of adolescence in high-school, were a
mixture of somewhat different attitudes. On the one hand, I had a tendency to
look back at the war-time period and I feared, from time to time, a slide into
the misery of captivity, starvation or desperate poverty. On the other hand, I
also indulged in dreaming about the future; about what I would like to become,
how I would like to succeed, and I have indicated that my obsessive focus on
the piano was both a blessing and a handicap. It was a blessing in the sense
that it provided me with a focus to do my best, but it was a handicap in the
sense, that the absence of proper guidance and a lack of insight into my own
limitations and short-comings, made this a rather unproductive period in my
life.
8 My cautious inclination
prevented me from getting into trouble, even, as I was enjoying a remarkable
degree of freedom and a lack of guidance, and it also made it possible to
understand more about the nature of my own existence. I was never exposed to
strong or dogmatic influences, and I was therefore able to mature slowly and
formulate my own convictions. As I became older, I realised, more clearly, the
drawback of a lack of guidance and discipline, and I remember very well, that I
had to learn "from experience", rather than from examples at home or
from the advise and guidance from other people. I "drifted" through
high-school, and I worked only hard enough not to fail, because I did not like
the idea to be left behind, but, at the same time, I had no stimulus to do my
best, as I was so pre-occupied with dreaming about a musical career.
9 In many ways, my adolescence
was somewhat sheltered from the realities of life, because I was never
confronted with the need to make a living. My parents supported me well, be it
modestly, and no-one had really much in the way of material affluence in the
immedate aftermath of the war. There was, indeed, a generally euphoric outlook
on life, as countless possibilities for making a living seemed to open-up. Even
during my early years as a medical student I was in essence "drifting
along", while attending classes very poorly; just scraping by in order not
to be left behind. Then, the pace of developments and the existential pressures
increased, as I became more serious about becoming truly independent; being
able to marry and take my place in society, and, as I have indicated; from the
time I met my future wife, I started to work harder and more conscientiously.
My time in
10 Yet, making money was never the
primary objective. I had sufficient ambitions and objectives to push the desire
to make money into the background. As long as we had enough to get by, I never
hesitated to follow a course that would enhance my opportunities to learn and
study, and, therefore, I never seriously considered breaking-off my studies and
go into general practice, where the earnings would have been many times what I
was getting as a student during my specialty training. Besides, my
unfamiliarity with the field of general practice also inhibited any inclination
to become a general practitioner.
11 I learned to study well. I
learned to work hard and to set long-term goals. As I became more aware of my
faculties and limitations, I also understood much better my failure at the
piano. The few times that I took-up the study on the piano, I did much better
and progressed much faster, but now, practical considerations, together with a
lingering dissatisfaction about the slow pace of progress and the lack of time,
made me abandon the study of the piano again and again.
12 I learned to see, that, so
often, we have to start "from scratch". I started from scratch, in a
way, when transferring from high-school to the university; I started from
scratch when I immigrated and learned the medical profession in a different
country, and, after many years in an academic environment, I started from
scratch in private practice. I had to learn about all the practical aspects of
a reality I had never been exposed to, as well as the need to buy a home and
build-up some financial security. After all, I was not getting any younger, and
the family was growing-up, requiring a modest but consistent financial support.
13 When I bought the boat and
decided to learn about all the fieds of science and technology associated with
the maintenance of the many different systems of equipment, (ranging from the electronic
navigation instruments to the many materials that had gone into the manufacture
of the boat and its fittings), I started from scratch, once more, and, when I
decided to broaden the horizon of my interests and began to write seriously, I
felt, once again, that I was starting from scratch.
14 Certainly, this meant that I was
tackling, throughout most of my life, new and unexplored areas; at least, these
areas were unexplored for me, and I am not saying that I was
"pioneering" anything. This also meant, however, that I felt,
finally, to be succeeding in my ambition to understand what life was all about;
how we function, and, why the many different thoughts and ideas go through our
minds as they do. Indeed, I became increasingly convinced that I was finally in
a position to put a coherent imagery on the table about the nature of our
existence. The fact that I had been exposed to many different branches of the
medical, biological and life-sciences, meant, that these scientific images
began to coalesce. They "explained" to me what we are; how we
function; how we construct frameworks for the classification and ordening of
our sense-impressions.
15 Having started "from
scratch" many times, may well be a reasonable characterisation for the
course of my life-cycle and the experiences that have played a role in
developing my faculties; including the ability to grasp a large canvas of
coherent structures of belief and explanation. The ability to see ourselves as
a living organism, with the same biological inheritance as nearly all the other
lifeforms; with a few special faculties "thrown in" as a result of
the specific avenue of development which the forces of natural selection
brought to the fore in the evolution of the human lifeform. All these ideas
became a powerfully coherent force in the construction of the
reality-perceptions that form the mainstay of my essays. Certainly, I have been
guided, primarily, by my intuitive insights, rather than a laborious and
systematic "documentation" of the ideas as they arose. First of all,
I was not in a position to carry-out such a documentation, but, more
importantly, I realised, from the start, that such a laborious approach would
defeat the purpose, and would make it essentially impossible to grasp the
realities in an all-encompassing but highly abstract manner.
.......
Chapter 12
The road towards a relativistic interpretation of our reality-experiences.
A persistent sense of coherent grasp.
Why a well-ordened and effective framework of priorities and attitudes will be
the key to our viability and sense of well-being.
When we are doomed to stumble from one crisis to the next.
Varying, flexibly and appropriately, the input we have to provide.
Priorities are specific choices about the projects we engage in.
Learning to control, at least to some extent, our attitudes and outlook on
life.
Obtaining control through insight rather than suppressing "difficult"
sense-impressions.
Dealing with feelings of depression or hopelessness.
Recognising when we are "feeling sorry for ourselves".
We can learn a great deal of the relative validity or value of our moods,
judgements and attitudes.
Looking at the many aspects we can be thankful for, and exploring the
opportunities we still have to provide an input for improvement.
I have learned a lot and I am still learning.
1 The concept that our
existential needs and wants form the major drive behind our patterns of
behaviour, (including the patterns of belief and explanation with which we
orden the stream of incoming sense-impression), opened the road towards a
relativistic interpretation of reality, and my insights in the physiology of
the body and its sense-organs, as well as some familiarity with the
psychological mechanisms and experiences most of us are subjected to, formed
the foundation for the ideas and theories I have put on paper; or, insofar as
the last hundred essays is concerned, the concepts and ideas which I have put
into the memory-banks of my computer. Yet, in spite of the overriding need to
fulfill a number of existentially important requirements, it also became clear
to me, that human beings are generally in an extra-ordinarily favourable
situation, whenever they have a generous surplus of time and energy on their
hands. This surplus of time and energy allows us to think and reflect about the
past and plan for the future. This allows us to formulate "wants", in
addition to the needs we have to fulfill in order to maintain ourselves in a
position of good health.
2 The biological orientation of
my outlook on life, and, especially, the biological foundation of all my
concepts about reality-perceptions and behaviour-patterns, is clear and obvious
to anyone who has looked at my work. The reason why I felt that it was
appropriate, and important, to approach the philosophical questions about our
existence from this point of view, lies in the fact, that, for the first time
in history, there was such an abundance of observations and facts to back-up a
view-point that emphasised the natural evolutionary background of all our
faculties; including our thoughts and beliefs, our personality traits, as well
as our deepest motivations and desires. Indeed, I have had the remarkable and
probably somewhat over-confident feeling, for a long time, that the nature of
human existence has lost, in essence, all its mystery for me. I have the
distinct impression that nothing about human behaviour, in the past or the
present, "surprises me".
3 Certainly, this does not mean, that I know "what to do" in each and every situation, anymore than anyone else, because, regardless how good our grasp over reality has become, (and how accurate our anticipations are about the course of future events), our faculties of grasp and understanding will necessarily be severely limited by our cerebral parameters. Our grasp is also limited by the time we have at our disposal to ponder the potential events of the future, together with the many technical adjuncts that provide us the necessary background information to construct such elaborate and useful models for the prediction of future events. Yet, in spite of these limitations, there is no doubt in my mind, that a rational, cautious and thorough approach to analysing the circumstances of the present and constructing a plausible framework for guiding future developments, is the only useful and meaningful way to get a grip over the future, and provide ourselves with a good chance to prepare ourselves for the events to come.
4 As we learn to appreciate, in
our free and reasonably affluent societies, the element of an individualised
choice, we are also saddled with the responsibility of providing an ever more
precise and detailed input to the events that are going to determine the
circumstances and conditions of our existence. This means, that the build-up of
a rational, well-ordened and effective framework of priorities and attitudes is
going to be the key to our ability to shape our lives in a way that conforms to
our ideas and ideals about what we wanted to be or become, and, how we want to
spend our time and energies. If we fail to make use of the opportunities of a
modern and just social environment to build-up such a framework for an ordened
input, whenever possible, we will necessarily squander many opportunities to
shape our lives. Then, we will continue to stumble from one crisis to the next;
never realising to what extent we have ourselves to blame for the rudderless
lifestyle we are leading, and the degree of impoverishment we have brought upon
ourselves.
5 Certainly, we will never
control completely the flow of contemporary events. We will not be able to
dictate how we want these events to proceed, and, even the best laid plans will
sometimes go astray, as our plans and ambitions are overtaken by events that
demand priority. Yet, we can be sure, that, without the ability to provide an
input at an opportune time, we are going to miss all-together the opportunity
to shape our lives and conditions of existence. Therefore, we have to remain
flexible, while preparing to provide an input whenever possible or necessary.
We remain vigilant and we monitor, closely, the events that are taking place
around and within us, in order to shift our priorities when necessary. Then, we
can vary, flexibly and appropriately, the input we have to provide, without
becoming obsessed with any specific objective, ambition or existential demand.
Flexibility, together with the ability to provide an appropriate input to a
wide-ranging spectrum of circumstances and events, is the key to a life of
productivity and happiness.
6 Priorities are specific choices about the projects we engage in, or the tasks we are bringing to completion. An attitude, like a mood, is a much more intuitive or subconscious bias, created by a "filter" that selects the way we interpret our sense-impressions, and influences the behavioural choices we are going to make. Just as priorities can be brought into a focus of conscious awareness and deliberate decision-making, so is it possible to gain a great deal of control over the bias, or filter, that determines our judgements and behavioural choices. However, we have to work at it. We have to realise, at least to some extent, how a mood and an attitude is being shaped by the primarily subconscious mechanisms of evaluation, and then, we can steer, or, even, choose, deliberately, what kind of mood we want to adopt, and what kind of attitude we are going to display.
7 Certainly, there is always a danger, here, that we are going to suppress a great deal of "information", or a large part of the incoming sense-impressions, because the deliberate adoption of a mood or attitude is going to "interfere" with the acceptance of this information. For example, if we want to be in a "good mood", we may have a tendency to ignore sense-impressions that give us a warning about the less pleasant events that are likely to take place in the near future. Similarly, if we want to display an attitude of confidence, or, even, exuberance, we are likely to suppress any warning-signs that would make us more cautious in our attitudes and more modest in our objectives. Therefore, the deliberate manipulation of moods and attitudes is indeed fraught with dangers and counter-productive effects; especially, if we are resorting to artificial means, such as a variety of drugs to influence our moods and attitudes.
8 However, a good insight into
what is happening, and, how a somewhat subconscious process of "digesting
experiences" is going to shape our moods and attitudes, also provides us
with the means to take the initiative, rather than let these subconscious
mechanisms dominate us. Certainly, in many cases, these subconscious mechanisms
are doing their work effectively; especially, if we have cultivated an attitude
of being honest with ourselves, and tackle our problems as soon as they
manifest themselves. However, the insight that these moods and attitudes
influence the way realities present themselves to our conscious awareness,
gives us also the ability to provide, at least, a measure of deliberate input
to these mechanisms.
9 For example, if we are somewhat
depressed, discouraged and despondent for one reason or another, we can
counter-act these moods and attitudes by reflecting, soberly and honestly,
about the reasons for these attitudes. We may come to the conclusion, that,
indeed, we have neglected warning-signs for a long time; that we should have
"seen it coming", and then, we can "thank our lucky stars that
the situation is not worse than it really is". Here, we are referring to a
mechanism we have often advocated in order to combat a feeling of depression.
We have to acknowledge, first of all, that things could get a lot worse, or,
that they could have been a lot worse. The latter is a much more preferable
conclusion, because the acknowledgement that a logical extrapolation of a
series of events is likely to make our present conditions even more precarious,
is indeed depressing. However, at the same time, we also notice, that we may
have an opportunity to provide an input that is going to minimise the risk of
events taking a turn for the worse. Besides, if this opportunity does not seem
to be present; if we seem to be trapped into a spiral of events we can do
nothing about, we are likely to abandon any attempt to deal with the realities
and hide or submerge ourselves in an attitude of hopeful expectations, and a
prayer for better times to come.
10 Yet, as long as we can see an
opportunity to provide an input, any tendency to "give in" to an
attitude of despair or despondency is going to be counter-productive, or, even,
life-threatening, because we fail to maximise any potential to improve the
situation. There is also the likelyhood that a mood of depression or
despondency is essentially unjustified, because it may be based on an attitude
of "feeling sorry for ourselves". If we have not been exposed to any
serious hardships, setbacks or disappointments, we are likely to be
"inexperienced", and we may indeed think that the world is coming to
an end. Severe disappointments, especially in youngsters who have never
experienced a serious setback before, are likely to lead to such unproductive
moods of depression. Such a mood is often associated with self-destructive
attitudes, and, therefore, proper guidance, together with the cultivation of
experiences that promote self-sufficiency, endurance and resilience, are
essential to show an individual to what extent we are able to control these
feelings, as well as their accompanying moods and attitudes.
11 Certainly, we can not
arbitrarily "put on" a mood or adopt an attitude, just because we think
that we should display such a mood or attitude, but, we can learn a great deal
about the relative value of our judgements and attitudes. We can learn to
counter-act a mood of depression by looking at the numerous aspects we can be
thankful for, as well as the many inputs we can still provide to make a
situation better. Similarly, we can learn that an attitude of self-centered
concern is counter-productive; that many other people have had very similar
experiences, and, by curbing the attitude of a self-centered concern, we
open-up a new world of experiences and inputs. These experiences and inputs are
crucially important for our ability to formulate appropriate responses and
viable judgements.
12 I have learned a lot throughout
life, and I am still learning; at least to some extent I am still learning, in
spite of the fact that the incidence of "something new happening" is
getting increasingly less likely as we get older. Yet, there are always
challenges, and we all face, from time to time, the task of looking carefully
at our moods and attitudes with which we tend to respond, almost routinely, to
these challenges. From time to time, we still discover a more refined and more
appropriate response to a particular problem or situation. Even, if the satisfactions
of such a slight improvement in our response-patterns are somewhat esoteric and
best hidden from view, we can nevertheless continue to learn and improve the
grasp over the realities we have to deal with, perhaps, even, until the final
hours of our existence. Then, when our last hour has finally come, the
relevance of responding appropriately to these realities begins to fade rapidly
because of the impending dissolution of our existence and the irrelevance of
our remaining existential drives.
.......
sa300s
Summary
1. The origins of the family I came from.
An illustration of the concept of "less deserving heirs".
Where my parents met.
My entry into the world.
I barely survived my first few years.
A turbulent childhood.
A haphazard period of primary schooling.
A very good time after WWII in
We probably owed our lives to the atomic bombs dropped on
Life in
My own development was rather uneventful.
A shy and reflective personality.
A long-standing fascination with the piano.
My admiration for the Rumanian pianist; Dinu Lipatti.
Only later. I understood the secret of his remarkably sonorous piano-playing.
Why I never developed a sound foundation for playing the piano.
A neurotic blockage that coloured my personality for the rest of my life.
A lack of guidance, discipline and self-discipline.
2. A period of rather extensive "day-dreaming".
At the end of high-school I abandoned any ideas about becoming a professional
musician.
My studies at the
A remarkably casual approach to intellectual studies.
The ability to retain essentials after a single or even somewhat superficial
exposure.
I had a good time in
The remarkable development of the vinyl LP record and the availability of a large
classical repertoir.
How and when I started collecting records.
My records are still in excellent condition.
I never was an adventurous personality.
How I met my future wife, and how we began to plan our immigration.
Remarkably smooth and quick developments.
I repeated medical exams without having to go to
My unconventional studying techniques came in good stead.
3. A look at our immigration to
Differences in medical training between
The trip to
A remarkable first ten years in
Ambitious plans to continue my education at the MNI.
How a misunderstanding led to my acceptance.
The
A training that was heavily weighted towards "seizure surgery".
For the first time, I had to really work hard in order to learn at a rapid
pace.
In 1969 I became a Fellow of the
A look back at my bout with acute tuberculosis at the end of my stay in
My health held-out well in
My work-scedule as an intern and resident.
A brief look at our family.
4. A hectic work-schedule suitable for younger people.
I enjoyed my stay at the MNI immensely.
I realised that I could not find a permanent job at the MNI.
A career in "private practice" and a desire to build-up some assets.
Working in a private practice was not easy.
It was tempting to go back to an academic institution.
We moved from New Foundland to
Rapid changes during the first few years in
I have always been a "reluctant surgeon".
I wanted a "break"; a sabbatical of a year or so.
The pay-off of a lifelong habit of living frugally.
A bold experiment with a frugal, near self-sufficient lifestyle in the
country-site.
The various strands that led to an early retirement.
Why I began to write.
5. A look at the woman who consented to be my wife.
A versatile, hard-working and capable personality.
The remarkable power of a competent, frugal and intelligent lifestyle.
The boat.
I taught myself how to sail and navigate.
I maintained the boat myself.
A permanent mooring along the ice-free coast of the
The boat became a gateway to the world outside medicine.
How we prepared ourselves for a possible early retirement.
My wife's energy and versatility were the key to our success.
The costs of living were reduced to a fraction of what they were before.
We realised that it is impossible to live-off a small piece of land without
making use of a modest steady income.
6. It became clear that a seamstress could not hope to make a living
without additional financial income.
We were living debt-free.
Keeping fixed costs at an absolute minimum.
Keeping the boat without any regular expenses.
Every year we could put a small surplus back into Canada Savings Bonds.
An all-important cushion of "slowly increasing savings".
Learning how to maintain a car.
At the time of retirement I converted my RRSP into a small annuity.
How we invested in "land".
Here we are, living in a beautiful home.
How we built our new home.
The experience and thought that went into the design and building of this home.
Throughout the years we have been in complete control over the way we lived.
I made good use of the "computer revolution" for my writing.
7. I always think before I write.
It took me years, before I was more or less satisfied with my writing.
The Atari, my first word-processor, was a revelation.
From "letter quality" to a "type-set quality" printer.
Electronic publishing; via internet or CD-ROM.
Polishing is still a form of writing.
After I quit work I felt less of a need to go sailing.
I am not really comfortable with very stressful work.
The productive habit of taking care of chores immediately.
I would always plan carefully what I had to do.
8. Why it is unlikely that there would not be any audience at all for
these essays.
I wrote primarily, because it was "good therapy".
I never write, if it is not going well.
Pre-occupation with a problem suppresses any desire to write.
I relax primarily by listening to my classical records.
I never really enjoyed my own piano-playing.
We are opinionated people and like to keep our distance.
A look at our religious background.
I am only concerned with the logic and coherence of the countless tid-bits of
information that are already available.
We never short-changed anyone with our lifestyle.
9. A short biographical sketch of Diny, my wife.
How we got to know each other.
Her qualities were essential for our success in
Our five daughters.
In spite of initial reservations, our children have adopted many, if not most
of our habits and attitudes.
A brief look at the dispute with Audrey.
Why Romey is quite different from the others.
We ran a strict and disciplined household.
10. Why native Canadians have been spoiled by a long period of easy and
affluent living conditions.
Why youngsters growing-up in a European middle-class had a harder time.
A brief look at European and North-American history.
Anya.
Fortunately, the experiment with home-schooling lasted only two years.
The break with Ingrid.
We have now a working relationships with all our children.
We have become "poor travelers".
Our children are hard-working and responsible people, even if we do not agree
with everything they do.
Neither one of us is a "bundle of joy", but, we are essentially
content and grateful people.
11. The attitudes and priorities that have shaped my thoughts and my
life.
The link between attitudes and conditions of existence.
A growing awareness that we have the opportunity, and the obligation, to make
something of ourselves.
My personality development is completely logical in view of my childhood
experiences.
I finally learned to work hard and efficiently.
I felt that I started "from scratch" many times.
Scientific images from many different fields began to coalesce.
I have been guided primarily by intuitive insights, rather than a laborious and
systematic documentation of my ideas.
12. The road towards a relativistic interpretation of our reality-
experiences.
A persistent sense of coherent grasp.
Why a well-ordened and effective framework of priorities and attitudes will be
the key to our viability and sense of well-being.
When we are doomed to stumble from one crisis to the next.
Varying, flexibly and appropriately, the input we have to provide.
Priorities are specific choices about the projects we engage in.
Learning to control, at least to some extent, our attitudes and outlook on
life.
Obtaining control through insight rather than suppressing "difficult"
sense-impressions.
Dealing with feelings of depression or hopelessness.
Recognising when we are "feeling sorry for ourselves".
We can learn a great deal of the relative validity or value of our moods,
judgements and attitudes.
Looking at the many aspects we can be thankful for, and exploring the
opportunities we still have to provide an input for improvement.
I have learned a lot and I am still learning.
.......